Part of application letter, please review

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This is part of application letter for a traineeship opportunity. I only needed 15+ lines of explanation why did I choose certain department, not entire motivation letter. If someone could read and critique it, I would much appreciate it!

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Among the broad range of interests that arose during my time as a student of economic and philosophy university, macroeconomics and finance unquestionably distinct themselves the most. What begun as zealous study of the macroeconomic history as well as of the up to date macroeconomic issues, under guidance of professor Bicanic, was further broadened by the knowledge of European Union’s specific macroeconomic issues through the participation in the classes and research of professor Jovancevic.
That being said, the choice of Council of Europe Development Bank among other departments was rather straightforward.
I believe that the traineeship in the Council of Europe Development Bank would be no less then the matchless step forward in my professional development. This is due to the several facts: first, somewhere along the evolution of my macroeconomic focus, the European Union issues have separated themselves from all other interest domains and now definitely take a very special place, making them likely to retain my attention in years to come. Second set of reasons lies in the traineeship opportunity itself – this kind of experience could be of crucial importance to my career development and can not, really, be attained by any other means in this point in my life.
However, it would be wrong to think that all the benefits should be expected on my side alone – I am confident that I will be of much use as a trainee in the Council of Europe Development Bank. Immense enthusiasm, exceptional working habits and perhaps even professional competence are here to secure that.

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TNX!!
New Member07
During my time as a student of economics and philosophy at University, I had a broad range of studies, of which I found macroeconomics and finance unquestionably the most interesting.

My initial enthusiasm for macroeconomic history and current macroeconomic issues studied under Professor Bicanic was heightened by my participation in the classes and research of professor Jovancevic. It was during this time that I developed my knowledge and understanding of the specific macroeconomic issues of the European Union
That being said, the choice of Council of Europe Development Bank among other departments was rather straightforward.
What is the relevence of this sentence?

I believe that a traineeship in the Council of Europe Development Bank would be a major step in my professional development. First, I have a profound and lasting interest in European Union issues. Most importantly, however is the traineeship opportunity itself. Such a unique training experience could be of crucial importance to my career development.

I consider myself to be an enthusiastic person, with a well-developed sense of professional behaviour. Were I to be offered this opportunity, I would be a loyal, hard-working trainee, and aim to be an asset to my employers.
Senior Member2,657
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Yes, it helps a lot, tnx!

Sentence you are referring to is there because this entire writing
is actually answer to the question why have i chosen certain
department to perform traineeship in.

here's the updated version:

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Among the broad range of interests that arose during my time as a student of economics and philosophy at University, macroeconomics and finance unquestionably distinct themselves the most.

What begun as zealous study of the macroeconomic history as well as of the current macroeconomic issues, under guidance of professor Bicanic, was heightened by the knowledge of European Union’s specific macroeconomic issues through the participation in the classes and research of professor Jovancevic.

That being said, the choice of Council of Europe Development Bank among the other departments was rather straightforward.

Furthermore, I believe that a traineeship in the Council of Europe Development Bank could be a major step in my professional development. This is due to the several facts: first, somewhere along the evolution of my macroeconomic focus, the European Union has set itself apart from all the other interest domains and now definitely takes a very special place, making it likely to retain my attention in years to come. Most importantly, however is the traineeship opportunity itself – such a unique training experience could be of a crucial importance to my career development and could hardly be attained in any other way.

However, it would be wrong to think that all the benefits should be expected on my side alone – I am confident that I will be a valuable asset as a trainee in the Council of Europe Development Bank. Immense enthusiasm and well-developed sense of professional behavior are here to secure that.

--

i didn't change it much since it is really not a motivation letter or something
like that but and answer to a specific question. I’m mostly worried about "a"-s and "the"-s,
i was never very good at that (as can probably be seen)
Hello ha-nocri,

Do I understand that you only want comment on articles and definite articles, and that you are generally happy with the English in your letter? If that is the case, I have removed them in the quotes below.

If you really want a critique:
Among the broad range of interests that arose during my time as a student of economics and philosophy at University, macroeconomics and finance unquestionably distinct themselves the most.


In this sentence, you speak of a "broad range of interests". It is perhaps not clear whether you are referring to academic interests or hobbies.
unquestionably distinct themselves the most


this phrase is not well constructed. "Distinct" is an adjective but you are using it as a verb.
What begun as zealous study of macroeconomic history as well as of the current macroeconomic issues, under the guidance of professor Bicanic was heightened by the knowledge of the European Union’s specific macroeconomic issues through participation in the classes and research of professor Jovancevic.


This sentence is far too long, contains too much information, and so becomes difficult to understand. It would be better to break it down into 2 seperate sentences.
What begun as zealous study...


You need the simple past of "begin" here, and I feel that "zealous study" may be a bit of a hyperbole.
That being said, the choice of Council of Europe Development Bank among the other departments was rather straightforward.


This sentence does not really say what you intend.

Furthermore, I believe that a traineeship in the Council of Europe Development Bank could be a major step in my professional development. This is due to several facts: first, somewhere along the evolution of my macroeconomic focus, the European Union has set itself apart from all the other interest domains and now definitely takes a very special place. Most importantly, however is the traineeship opportunity itself – such a unique training experience could be of a crucial importance to my career development and could hardly be attained in any other way.


This is due to several facts

but you only state 2 reasons.

Again, your sentences are too long and contain too much information.

all the other interest domains

This phrase does not really work in English

However, it would be wrong to think that all the benefits should be expected on my side alone – I am confident that I will be a valuable asset as a trainee in the Council of Europe Development Bank. Immense enthusiasm and well-developed sense of professional behavior are here to secure that.


I know what you are trying to say, but the phraseology could be a little better. It makes you sound a little over-confident, at least to English ears.
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Ok, tnx... i changed most of it so now it's more or less the way you suggested it
the first time Emotion: embarrassed
ok, just one more thing. the answer had to be 15 lines, and it came
out just 13-14 so i want to edit this sentence that is not so clear:

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That being said, my choice of Council of Europe Development Bank among the other departments was rather straightforward.
-

to:

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That being said, my choice of Council of Europe Development Bank among the other departments was rather straightforward – traineeship in Council of Europe Development Bank is likely to grant me a valuable experiences in the field that has my attention now and is likely to retain it in years to come.
-

actually, the first one was clear by itself already since there is this form where i
first pick the department and than elaborate my choice with this short essay. but,
i now have to insert something more like this second sentence and would appreciate
some advices here as well! TNX!
That being said, my choice of Council of Europe Development Bank among the other departments was rather straightforward – traineeship in Council of Europe Development Bank is likely to grant me a valuable experiences in the field that has my attention now and is likely to retain it in years to come.


Given my special interest in the macroeconomics of the European Union, it seemed self-evident to me that the Council of Europe Development Bank should be my first choice for a traineeship. Were I to be accepted, I believe that I would gain invaluable experience for my future career.
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Guest:
Hi,

I was looking on the net and i saw that you have written about professor Jovancevic. I am from Sloveniaa and i am looking for all my family across the word.
please, contact me on my email: Email Removed
Hi Guest,

Family history is a bit specialised, but there are lots of sites on the web. I got about 450 hits by typing
Jovancevic
into the search bar. You might want to try that.

Good luck
Proficient Speaker: Users in this role are known to maintain an excellent grasp of the English language. You can only be promoted to this role by the Englishforums team.Retired Moderator: A moderator who has retired.
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