Hi guys, would like to give me some feedback on my personal statement and check my grammar or anymistakes?
THANKS! :)
It is all about 'management'.
Almost every aspect of life requires some sort of planning, organization,
control, motivation and strategizing. Yet these aspects are highly valued, if inadequately
managed or pursued it can easily lead to failures. Having first hand experience
with successful and failed leadership, my perseverance and my ability to adapt
to unexpected circumstances has tailored me to this course. My understanding of
this ever-changing, fast-paced society that necessitates management shows my awareness
and my future interest in being part of the business sector that allows me to manage
from start to finish.
The International Baccalaureate
program has acquired me with an extensive range of skill with the wide scope of
subjects that it offers. I have grown an appreciation for global issues and how
management is a fundamental aspect to a work place from studying Design
Technology and Geography. Biology has assisted in enhancing my skills of
analysing, observing and critical evaluating with the in-depth detail that the
subject demands. In addition, studying in an international community of King George
V School
has also given me the benefit of working with students from a diverse
background which has equipped me with the ability of mediating with people in
an inclusive and supportive approach.
As Peer Support, House Captain of Netball, Hockey and School Captain of
the Netball team, I am accountable for many responsibility roles
and endeavour to serve as a role model and leader for the younger students and
my team mates. From interacting with younger students as a peer support I was
able to expand my interpersonal skills as I tackled issues with my sharp
thinking and communication skills. Furthermore as Captain, I effectively
interacted with my players, engaging them with postivity to incite determination
and motivation. Additionally taking
part in the Inter-house/school music, cheerleading, athletics, netball,
football, hockey and rugby has shown my ability to balance my school life with my personal life. It is evident that I am passionate about sports;
it has become a daily part of my life as I find working as a team and being able to train
towards a goal very rewarding and enjoyable.
As a believer of power and
prestige comes with responsibility, I have been part of several service
activities. During our school's Challenge week, an element of my trip to
Boracay was to visit a school where students were less fortunate with financial
setbacks. There, I led an educational yet interactive fun session where I
taught mandarin. Behind this successful arrangement was a great deal of
planning and organizing which personally was very rewarding as I was able to
offer my knowledge to these students. This experience compelled me to realise
how gifted they were and allowed me to reflect upon my privileged education
that I am apart of. Previously, I have also led computer classes organized by
UNHCR where I helped refugees in Hong Kong
with fundamental ICT skills. Being able to help those in adversity also facilitated
myself in being more open-minded and knowledgeable.
Furthermore, my 2009 summer's work experience at Panda Logistics has
acquired me with improved management skills. I was requested to organise paper work needed for
shipment, where precision was required I was able to diligently perform the
task. Additionally, I had the opportunity of working at two different departments. One
aimed at international clients and one for mainland china. This contrast demonstrated the significance
of management as
both departments' demands from its market was very different yet with out meticulous
management it would not be able to necessitate the functioning of the company.
I am determined to express my interest in this management course, I believe I can offer a
dynamic contribution and prove to be a good candidate. I am interested in
pursuing a career that involves co-ordinating and staffing that will
allow me to administer an enterprise. I believe I am suitable for this course as I feel the satisfaction of using my managerial skills to implement projects with a
high standard very rewarding.
thanks guys for your help!