Saddiq:

Here is a start on suggestions for your personal statement. Please use my suggestions on your other posting to finish the remainder...

All the best - A-Stars

saddiqueaq

“

There is a rapid growth in global organisational concepts to be as effective as possible in the most efficient way.(this sentence does not make any sense)

New technologies such as involving networking, information management, and automation can alter influences the  business behaviours  enabling them to adapt to rapidly changing environments.  of business and enables significant transformation.

In our age of a highly competitive global economy, This need to mMaximising efficiency and effectiveness in such a competitive age is increasingly crucial to the success of a business. That is why now is such an exciting and fascinating time period in both the commercial and economic world to study Business Management.

I have worked for Afghanistan Information Management Services as an Internee, assisting in the ICT and projects. The projects I worked on gave It was me a significant learning experience; to better understand . and made me evaluate myself and better understand my strengths and skills. such as the I found that I have a knack of ability to easily spotting and recognizing identify discrepancies and communicating these effectively to management so that problems can be resolved. E-Banking Solution, a software project for the MyBank Ltd in 2nd year, first exposed me to the financial services industry. I followed it up with internship in the same bank. Operating within two different, but equally successful organisations has enabled me to see contrasting leadership styles and corporate culture. 

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Saddiq:

There are only a few minor edits. Next take your drafts (lastest and the points that you have cut out earlier) and get the opinions of people you respect most - your best professors, managers at the bank, and even your colleagues. They will help you more than I can at this point since they know you..

saddiqueaq

“

Your postgraduate Management program is an ideal fit for my ambitions because of the overall academic excellence, emphasis on management, specifically on financial management, and the industry-oriented environment. Exposure to the financial services industry in the UK will provide me a great opportunity to apply my acquired theoretical knowledge of finance. I plan to capitalize on these strengths as they relate to my interests.

New technologies such as networking, information management, and automation can alter business behaviours enabling them to adapt to rapidly changing environments. In our age of a highly competitive global economy maximizing efficiency and effectiveness is crucial to the success of a business. This is why it is an exciting and fascinating time to study Management.

I have worked for Afghanistan Information Management Services as an Intern, assisting in the ICT (spell out the acronym). The projects I worked on gave me a significant learning experience; to better understand myself and my strengths and skills. I found that I have a knack of easily spotting and recognizing discrepancies and communicating these effectively to management so that problems can be resolved. I participated in E-Banking Solution, a software project for the local commercial bank in my 2nd year of undergraduate studies. This project gave me my first direct experience in the financial services industry. I followed this up with an internship in the same bank. Operating within two different, but equally successful organisations has enabled me to see contrasting leadership styles and corporate culture. All of this has led me to aspire to a career path in the field of management in the financial industry.

Apart from academic interests, I also have a diverse experience in extra-curricular activities. I served as a Community Mobilizer and Polling Staff in the Afghanistan elections in 2004 and 2005. I took part in fund raising efforts for the earthquakes victims in Pakistan in 2005 and 2008. I also have performed volunteer work in the Afghan Geodesy and Cartography Head Office of computer networking and other ICT tasks. Moreover, I have trained the staff in those scientific and engineering applications and taught them English. I am a regular reader of the Financial Times, New York Times, Times of India and PC World Magazine, and enjoy keeping up with current affairs and business news. I actively participate in recreational activities including debate and sports competitions as well.

I have always enjoyed and been strong in areas that require problem solving, analytical, and decision making skills. I am anxious to combine the knowledge of, and aptitude for, these skills with my interest in management. Management has always fascinated me right from my undergraduate studies. Engineering Economics and Management, a 3rd year undergraduate course, aroused in me a keen appreciation of the discipline( field might be better here) of management field. Motivated to learn more, I took short courses in Accounting, Finance and Business Management. 

Adaptability, creative thinking, analytical thinking and the application of technology are now intrinsic to managing businesses. I have already developed an appreciation of these principles partially and, therefore, intend to enhance them through postgraduate studies. I have enjoyed the a spectrum of computer engineering study that has taught me to how to approach problems from different perspectives. Information Technology has enabled me to examine the criticality of technology in giving businesses a competitive edge by considering issues such as organisational objectives, people and legal implications rather than making decisions based solely on financial factors. 

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