A piece of creative writing - Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Peaceblinkfriend wrote:

Hi all, This is a piece of creative writing that I wrote. I would really appreciate if you could give me any suggestions or comments. I believe there could be much more to change in order to make it better besides the ones that I indicated.  I wonder if you could rephrase it - at your convenince, of course.    Thank you.   The light streamed through the window and lit up the attic1. Jean stood in the attic. It was years since she had climbed the stairs to the attic. Everything was covered with dust. There were cobwebs everywhere.      Jean2 went to the corner of the attic and unearthed a small wooden box. The box was engraved with a picture of a dove. With the contours in gold3. She carefully opened the box. A silver key was laying in the middle of the box. It was attached with a small piece of string. She smiled with joy and hope. 1.   How would you describe this scene?  Too many "attics" - lose at least one, preferably two. 2.   Should I use the pronoun 'she' here? No - I thnk it's fine. 3.   How would you say it? "with a picture of a dove, outlined in gold" Thank you again. Best wishes, PBF