Please assess this essay!

How to increase turnover?

Managers always desire to increase turnover, make the company flourish and set the pace in the market. Such tasks call for a proper and visionary strategy. Strategies can differ from company to company, but they all focus on certain main points. I will tell you what these points actually are towards a supreme goal: making profit, or, increasing turnover.

First, I will consolidate and widen my market share of existing products. In order to achieve such things, I must raise the product’s quality level and make the quality  become the most distinctive factor in comparison to other rival products. And the key to increase the product’s quality is deploying modern technology into producing process. In other words, I must think of machinery modernization as soon as possible. When raising enough money, I will definitely upgrade all the machinery to reap the long-term benefit for the company. Besides, a diversity in the shape of products will ensure drawing much customers. The popularity of your products will be increased considerably.

Second, I always consider introducing new products. This task involves much: market researching, R&D, quality insurance, product marketing… But the prominent factor is R&D. Researching and Developing Department plays a crucial role in creating new series of products or new competitive technology. Budgeting more for R&D must be taken into account first when planning to increase turnover.

Third, discovering new territory for my company should be taken a deep consideration. Now my company have established a certain brand name and customers will tend to buy any products relating to the company’s brand name. Thus, it’s a great time to enter and occupy new territories. Have you ever seen a multinational corporation make profits from numerous different varieties of products? Obviously, they have known how to exploit the popularity of their brand name effectively by selling various products using only one brand name.

Lastly, setting out a long-term strategy for marketing will ensure a stable sales over successive years. In the long run, I must figure out what possible elements are against my company and what favor my company. Thus, I will be able to set out what I need to do in the future to keep the company’s revenue increasing.

That’s what I, a manager, must concern when operating my company. On the whole, these things shouldn’t be fixed and need to be adaptable to any other company.

I'm not sure whether my expression, or words used is appropriate or not ? If there's any awkward expression, would you let me know what the proper one should be ? I would be very grateful!

Managers always desire to increase turnover, make the company flourish and set the pace in the market.

Managers always desire to increase turnover, to make the company.... (I like the pair of to's... sounds better to my ear.)

I will tell you what these points actually are towards a supreme goal: making profit, or, increasing turnover.

(I don't like the "I will tell you"... the tone sounds like you think you are smart and I am stupid... instead of suggesting the solution, you are going to tell me the solution... in my business culture (middle USA) few managers would use that phrase.. perhaps soften it to "I suggest that these points..." or "I believe that these..."

First, I will consolidate and widen my market share of existing products.

(Okay, now I have a problem with all of these I's.  Are you running all these companies? I think you're talking to other people who are doing business, giving them advice... so put it in their terems. "First, you consolidate and widen..." or "First, consolidate and widen"..  Just like in the last example, using all this personal I stuff makes it sound like you're just bragging about all the great things that you are going to do.)

 In order to achieve such things, I must raise the product’s quality level and make the quality  become the most distinctive factor in comparison to other rival products. And the key to increase the product’s quality is deploying modern technology into producing process.

...into the producing process.. or, more correctly, into the production process...

In other words, I must think of machinery modernization as soon as possible.

... we must thing about machinery mod...

 When raising enough money, I will definitely upgrade all the machinery to reap the long-term benefit for the company. Besides, a diversity in the shape of products will ensure drawing much customers.

... many customers...

 The popularity of your products will be increased considerably.

(Here you have it correct; you talk about 'your products'... you don't own them all, you're telling them how to work with their products)

Second, I always consider introducing new products. This task involves much: market researching, R&D, quality insurance, product marketing… But the prominent factor is R&D. Researching and Developing Department plays a crucial role in creating new series of products or new competitive technology. Budgeting more for R&D must be taken into account first when planning to increase turnover.

Third, discovering new territory for my company should be taken a deep consideration.

... should be a priority... or ... should be seriously considered... or should be a consideration...  but 'deep' doesn't apply to consideration..

That’s what I, a manager, must concern when operating my company.

That's what I, as a manager, must concern myself with when... or, better, That's what you, as a manager, should concern yourself with when...

 On the whole, these things shouldn’t be fixed and need to be adaptable to any other company.

(I don't understand what 'these things' refers to... what shouldn't be fixed? the problems? And what needs be adapatble?)