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Latest post Mon, Oct 29 2007 8:58 AM by Grammar Geek. 3 replies.
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mountain  +  434468 Thu, 25 Oct 07 02:40 AM
I would appreciate if someone could check the original and the corrections I made below. Thank you

Original
  1. Business letters, despite the enormous popularity of e-mail must still be wrote when a permenent record is necessary.
  2. If you follow a writing process organizing the content and composing the first draft is easier.
  3. Chelsea acts as if she was the only person who ever received a complement about their business writting.
  4. Chelseas letter which she sent to the manger and I was distinguished by 3 characteristics. Clear content, a goodwill tone, and correct form.
  5. Davonne Jordan whom I think is our newly-appointed Vice President wants everyone in the Company to beware of computer viruses.
  6. When the Office Manager writes business letters or memos he allways ends it with the same "Do not hesitate" phrase.
  7. The manager and myself realized an item was missing from the April 1st shipment consequently we sent a claim letter for one hundred thirty-one dollars.
  8. After our supervisor and her returned from there meeting at two P.M. we were able to sort the customers names and addresses more quick.
  9. If you must write an order letter be sure to include: the quantity order number description unit price tax shipping and total costs.
  10. Matthew enclosed a check for two hundred dollars, however he worried that it was insufficient to regain the confidence of the customer.
My corrections
  1. Business letters, despite the enormous popularity of e-mail, must still be wrote when a permanent record is necessary.
  2. If you follow a writing process, organizing the conten,t and composing the first draft is easier.
  3. Chelsea acts as if she was the only person who received a complement about her business writting.
  4. Chelsea's letter, which she sent to the manger and I was distinguished by three characteristics: clear content, a good-will tone, and correct form.
  5. Davonne Jordan, whom I think is our newly appointed vice president wants everyone in the company to beware of computer viruses.
  6. When the office manager writes business letters or memos, he always ends it with the same "Do not hesitate" phrase.
  7. The manager and I realized an item was missing from April 1st shipment. Consequently, we sent a claim letter for $131.
  8. After our supervisor and her returned from their meeting at 2 p.m., we were able to sort the customer's names and addresses more quicker.
  9. If you must write an order letter, be sure to include the quantity order number, description unit, price, tax, shipping, and total costs.
  10. Matthew enclosed a check for $200. However, he worried that it was insufficient to regain the confident of the customer.

Joined on Tue, Dec 14 2004
Full Member 147
Grammar Geek  +  434475 Thu, 25 Oct 07 03:24 AM
 Mountain wrote:
I would appreciate if someone could check the original and the corrections I made below. Thank you

Original
  1. Business letters, despite the enormous popularity of e-mail must still be wrote when a permenent record is necessary.
  2. If you follow a writing process organizing the content and composing the first draft is easier.
  3. Chelsea acts as if she was the only person who ever received a complement about their business writting.
  4. Chelseas letter which she sent to the manger and I was distinguished by 3 characteristics. Clear content, a goodwill tone, and correct form.
  5. Davonne Jordan whom I think is our newly-appointed Vice President wants everyone in the Company to beware of computer viruses.
  6. When the Office Manager writes business letters or memos he allways ends it with the same "Do not hesitate" phrase.
  7. The manager and myself realized an item was missing from the April 1st shipment consequently we sent a claim letter for one hundred thirty-one dollars.
  8. After our supervisor and her returned from there meeting at two P.M. we were able to sort the customers names and addresses more quick.
  9. If you must write an order letter be sure to include: the quantity order number description unit price tax shipping and total costs.
  10. Matthew enclosed a check for two hundred dollars, however he worried that it was insufficient to regain the confidence of the customer.
My corrections
  1. Business letters, despite the enormous popularity of e-mail, must still be wrote when a permanent record is necessary.
  2. If you follow a writing process, organizing the conten,t and composing the first draft is easier.
  3. Chelsea acts as if she was the only person who received a complement about her business writting.
  4. Chelsea's letter, which she sent to the manger and I was distinguished by three characteristics: clear content, a good-will tone, and correct form.
  5. Davonne Jordan, whom I think is our newly appointed vice president wants everyone in the company to beware of computer viruses.
  6. When the office manager writes business letters or memos, he always ends it with the same "Do not hesitate" phrase.
  7. The manager and I realized an item was missing from April 1st shipment. Consequently, we sent a claim letter for $131.
  8. After our supervisor and her returned from their meeting at 2 p.m., we were able to sort the customer's names and addresses more quicker.
  9. If you must write an order letter, be sure to include the quantity order number, description unit, price, tax, shipping, and total costs.
  10. Matthew enclosed a check for $200. However, he worried that it was insufficient to regain the confident of the customer.


I've highlighted places where you still have errors.   

Joined on Tue, Jan 10 2006
Veteran Member 19,671
Barbara, who answers in American English. My housekeeping skills attest to the truth of the second law of thermodynamics: Left to themselves, things get more and more random!
mountain  +  434484 Thu, 25 Oct 07 03:43 AM
  1. Business letters, despite the enormous popularity of e-mail, must still be written when a permanent record is necessary.
  2. If you follow a writing process, organizing the content and composing the first draft is easier.
  3. Chelsea acts as if she is the only person who received a compliment about her business writting.
  4. Chelsea's letter, which she sent to the manger and me was distinguished by three characteristics: clear content, a good-will tone, and correct form.
  5. Davonne Jordan, who I think is our newly appointed vice president, wants everyone in the company to beware of computer viruses.
  6. When the office manager writes business letters or memos, he always ends with the same "Do not hesitate" phrase.
  7. The manager and I realized an item was missing from April 1st shipment. Consequently, we sent a claim letter for $131.
  8. After our supervisor and she returned from their meeting at 2 p.m., we were able to sort the customer names and addresses more quickly.
  9. If you must write an order letter, be sure to include the quantity, order number, description, unit price, tax, shipping, and total costs.
  10. Matthew enclosed a check for $200. However, he worried that it was insufficient to regain the confidence of the customer.
Ok, I think I have corrected what you have highlighted, please confirm. Thanks
Grammar Geek  +  434492 Thu, 25 Oct 07 03:57 AM

They look good to me, but someone else can come along to proofread with a second look.

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