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Latest post Wed, May 7 2008 4:47 PM by Clive. 8 replies.
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mountain  +  421414 Thu, 20 Sep 07 05:27 AM
I would appreciate if anyone can check my corrections against the original one. Thanks in advance.

Original

1. In this class my friend and I learned that business writing should be: Purposeful, Economical and Reader Oriented.
2. 5 or 6 members of our team will probly attend the writers workshop therefore be sure they recieve notices.
3. If I was you I would learn the following 3 parts of the writing process, prewriting writing and revising.
4. Experts' suggest that you spend twenty-five percent of your time planning; twenty-five percent writing; forty-five percent revising and five percent proofreading.
5. Although one of the employees are not available we proceded to schedule the meeting at three o'clock p.m. on Wednesday October 12th.
6. The Vice President was supprised to learn that a 2 day writing workshop for our companies employees would cost one thousand two hundered dollars each.
7. Were not asking the seller to altar it's proposal we are asking team members to check the proposals figures.
8. There wondering whether a list of all our customer names and addresses were inadveertently released?
9. As you begin to write you should analyse the task, and identity the purpose.
10. By replacing unfamiliar words with every day familiar ones you can make you audience comprehend your ideas more quicker.

My corrections

1. In this class my friend and I learned that business writting should be: purposeful, economical and reader oriented.
2. Five or six members of our team will probably attend the writer's workshop; therefore be sure they recieve notices.
3. If I were you, I would learn the following three parts of the writing process: prewriting, writing and revising.
4. Experts suggest that you spend 25 percent of your time planning, 25 percent writing, 45 percent revising, and five percent proofreading.
5. Although one of the employees are not available, we proceeded to schedule the meeting at 3 p.m. on Wednesday, October 12th.
6. The vice president was suprised to learn that a two day writing workshop for our company's employees would cost 1200 dollars each.
7. We're not asking the seller to alter its proposal; we are asking team members to check the proposal's figures.
8. They're wondering whether a list of all our customer names and addresses were inadvertently released?
9. As you begin to write, you should analyse the task, and identify the purpose.
10. By replacing unfamiliar words with everyday familiar ones, you can make your audience comprehend your ideas more quickly.
Joined on Tue, Dec 14 2004
Full Member 147
Clive  +  421420 Thu, 20 Sep 07 05:51 AM

Hi,

 would appreciate if anyone can check my corrections against the original one. Thanks in advance.

Original

1. In this class my friend and I learned that business writing should be: Purposeful, Economical and Reader Oriented.
2. 5 or 6 members of our team will probly attend the writers workshop therefore be sure they recieve notices.
3. If I was you I would learn the following 3 parts of the writing process, prewriting writing and revising.
4. Experts' suggest that you spend twenty-five percent of your time planning; twenty-five percent writing; forty-five percent revising and five percent proofreading.
5. Although one of the employees are not available we proceded to schedule the meeting at three o'clock p.m. on Wednesday October 12th.
6. The Vice President was supprised to learn that a 2 day writing workshop for our companies employees would cost one thousand two hundered dollars each.
7. Were not asking the seller to altar it's proposal we are asking team members to check the proposals figures.
8. There wondering whether a list of all our customer names and addresses were inadveertently released?
9. As you begin to write you should analyse the task, and identity the purpose.
10. By replacing unfamiliar words with every day familiar ones you can make you audience comprehend your ideas more quicker.

My corrections

1. In this class my friend and I learned that business writting should be: purposeful, economical and reader oriented.
2. Five or six members of our team will probably attend the writer's workshop; therefore be sure they recieve notices.
3. If I were you, I would learn the following three parts of the writing process: prewriting, writing and revising.
4. Experts suggest that you spend 25 percent of your time planning, 25 percent writing, 45 percent revising, and five percent proofreading.
5. Although one of the employees are not available, we proceeded to schedule the meeting at 3 p.m. on Wednesday, October 12th.
6. The vice president was suprised to learn that a two day writing workshop for our company's employees would cost 1200 dollars each.
7. We're not asking the seller to alter its proposal; we are asking team members to check the proposal's figures.
8. They're wondering whether a list of all our customer names and addresses were inadvertently released?
9. As you begin to write, you should analyse the task, and identify the purpose.
10. By replacing unfamiliar words with everyday familiar ones, you can make your audience comprehend your ideas more quickly.

1. In this class, my friend and I learned that business writing should be purposeful, economical and reader oriented.
2. Five or six members of our team will probably attend the writers' workshop; therefore, be sure they receive notices.
3. If I were you, I would learn the following three parts of the writing process: prewriting, writing and revising.
4. Experts suggest that you spend 25 percent of your time planning, 25 percent writing, 45 percent revising, and 5 percent proofreading.
5. Although one of the employees is not available, we proceeded to schedule the meeting at 3 p.m. on Wednesday, October 12th.
6. The vice-president was surprised to learn that a two-day writing workshop for our company's employees would cost 1200 dollars each.
7. We're not asking the seller to alter their proposal; we are asking team members to check the proposal's figures.
8. They're wondering whether a list of all our customer names and addresses was inadvertently released.
9. As you begin to write, you should analyse the task and identify the purpose.
10. By replacing unfamiliar words with everyday familiar ones, you can make your audience comprehend your ideas more quickly.

Best wishes, Clive

Joined on Thu, Oct 28 2004
Canada
Veteran Member 29,600
El tango argentino es un pensamiento triste que se puede bailar (The tango argentino is a sad thought which can be danced) Enrique Santos Discépolo
mountain, 2 yr 64 days ago
As always Clive, thanks!
Neeraj Jain  +  421453 Thu, 20 Sep 07 07:28 AM
 Clive wrote:

7. We're not asking the seller to alter their proposal; we are asking team members to check the proposal's figures.

I have a doubt in the above sentence. Why is "their" used before proposal?

Joined on Fri, Sep 7 2007
Regular Member 583
Smile allows you to win.
Clive  +  421611 Thu, 20 Sep 07 01:50 PM

Hi,

It's commonly used in order to avoid saying 'his' or 'his and her'. It's also used in cases where the entity referred to, eg a company, is thought of as a group of people.

In strictly formal English, I probably wouldn't say it.

Best wishes, Clive

Anonymous, 1 yr 276 days ago

If this sentence originated in the U.S., then failure to make the number (that is, the singularity or plurality) of the pronoun (in this case "their") match the number of the noun (in this case ''seller") is the result of what is termed "political correctness." Because of this flawed concept, many poor writers now use this grammatical construction in their efforts to avoid refernce to gender, even though they know that the proper grammar is to use "his" or "her." Their thinking is that pointing out that the seller is male or female might have bad consequences of some sort. I have never understood why such ridiculous delicacy came to be standard practice, and I think such perversion of English is the result of muddy thinking promulgated by badly educated businesspeople. Your doubt is perfectly valid.  -- An American English speaker from birth, and a proffreader by profession

Yankee  +  479144 Wed, 20 Feb 08 05:46 AM
Hi Proffreader Wink

It seems that you aren't aware that the singular 'their' has been in use for centuries.  The singular their is not an innovation from the 1970s.
Joined on Sat, Apr 15 2006
Connecticut, USA
Veteran Member 6,498
Amy "You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." - Mark Twain
Anonymous, 1 yr 199 days ago

 atrip to the supermarket can be quite frustrating, especially if you need only a few items.

Clive  +  510879 Wed, 07 May 08 04:47 PM

Hi,

This is fine, but you have to start with a capital letter.

Best wishes, Clive

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