Mellavere, your grammar is close to perfect.
This sentence definitely needs work: Couples not having enough money or even having more money than they know what to do with can cause major friction in any marriage.
However, the purpose of your essay is not clear. Is it that you think that divorce is too easy? Is it why people get divorced? Is it that fewer couples would get divorced if they were better informed about money?
A true essay has a thesis statement/opening paragraph, a paragraph or two or three to support that thesis, and a conclusion. You have many sentences all bundled loosely around the idea of divorce. What do you want to say about divorce?
(By the way, I would say "raising their children" rather than "taking care of the kids.")