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Cheese1987  #435557  Sat, 27 Oct 07 04:04 PM

My English is not good. Please help my proof it. Thanks~!

 

Newspaper journalism today is quite different from ten or twenty years ago. Instead of objective stories with detailed analyses, we now see the words in the newspapers are full of exaggerations. In this essay I will first of all point out the contents of the news misleading people, and then consider the argument of some newspapers are famous for impartial writing. I shall conclude by arguing that Hong Kong newspapers are immoral and inhumane to mislead people.

 

The unverified news is often published. A survey conducted by Hong Kong University has shown that 71 percent of Hong Kong people are satisfied with the degree of the press freedom. However, 68 percent citizen believed Hong Kong Newspapers are misusing the freedom of the press and it is believed that the press media is irresponsible. This statistic can reflect that most Hong Kong people think Hong Kong newspapers are trustless as the unverified news is always to be found. It is no doubt that Hong Kong newspapers are not objective.

  
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julielai  #435561  Sat, 27 Oct 07 04:29 PM

Please tell us more about your assignment.

You need to fix the parts in red.

 Cheese1987 wrote:

Newspaper journalism today is quite different from what it was ten or twenty years ago. Instead of objective stories with detailed analyses, we now see the words in the newspapers are full of exaggerations. In this essay I will first of all point out the contents of the news misleading people, and then consider the argument of some newspapers are famous for impartial writing. I shall conclude by arguing that Hong Kong newspapers are immoral and inhumane to mislead people.

 

The unverified news is often published. A survey conducted by Hong Kong University has shown that 71 percent of Hong Kong people are satisfied with the degree of the press freedom. However, 68 percent citizen believed Hong Kong Newspapers are misusing the freedom of the press and it is believed that the press media is irresponsible. This statistic can reflect that most Hong Kong people think Hong Kong newspapers are trustless as the ___  (add a verb) unverified news is always to be found. It is no doubt that Hong Kong newspapers are not objective.

  
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Cheese1987  #435603  Sat, 27 Oct 07 05:45 PM

Newspaper journalism today is quite different from what it was ten or twenty years ago. Instead of objective stories with detailed analyses, we now see the stories they published are full of exaggerations. In this essay I will first of all point out the contents of the news misleading people, and then consider the argument of some newspapers are famous for impartial writing. I shall conclude by arguing that Hong Kong newspapers mislead people.

Unverified news is often published. A survey conducted by Hong Kong University has shown that 71 percent of Hong Kong people are satisfied with the degree of  press freedom. However, 68 percent people believed Hong Kong Newspapers are abusing the freedom of the press and it is believed that the media is irresponsible.  Most Hong Kong people think Hong Kong Newspapers  __have_reported unverified news.  It is believed that Hong Kong newspapers are not objective.

Is it correct?

Thank you for your kindly help.

Actually this assignment is not completed. I have not yet finished it.

so the points  I mention in the first paragraph have not shown.

  
julielai  #435661  Sat, 27 Oct 07 07:27 PM
You need to fix everything in red.
  
Cheese1987  #435681  Sat, 27 Oct 07 08:19 PM

Newspaper journalism today is quite different from what it was ten or twenty years ago. Instead of objective stories with detailed analyses, we now see the stories they published are full of exaggerations. In this essay I will first of all point out the blind entry, and then consider the argument of some so-called impartial writing newspapers. I shall conclude by arguing that Hong Kong newspapers mislead people.

Unverified news is often published. A survey conducted by Hong Kong University has shown that 71 percent of Hong Kong people are satisfied with the degree of  press freedom. However, 68 percent people believed Hong Kong Newspapers are abusing the freedom of the press and it is believed that the media is irresponsible.  Most Hong Kong people think Hong Kong Newspapers  __have_reported unverified news.  It is believed that Hong Kong newspapers are not objective.

  
julielai  #435717  Sat, 27 Oct 07 11:39 PM

You need to go through every part in red again, especially in the second paragraph.

 Cheese1987 wrote:

Newspaper journalism today is quite different from what it was ten or twenty years ago. Instead of objective stories with detailed analyses, we now see the stories they published are full of exaggerations. In this essay I will first of all point out the blind entry (What are you trying to say?), and then consider the argument (only one?) of some so-called impartial writing newspapers  stories. I shall conclude by arguing that Hong Kong newspapers mislead people.

Unverified news is often published. A survey conducted by Hong Kong University has shown that 71 percent of Hong Kong people are satisfied with the degree of  press freedom. However, 68 percent people (see how you did it the first time) believed Hong Kong Newspapers are abusing the freedom of the press and it is believed that the media is irresponsible.  Most Hong Kong people think Hong Kong Newspapers  __have_reported unverified news.  It is believed that Hong Kong newspapers are not objective.

  
Cheese1987  #435784  Sun, 28 Oct 07 04:35 AM

Newspaper journalism today is quite different from what it was ten or twenty years ago. Instead of objective stories with detailed analyses, we now see  stories full of  exaggerations. In this essay I will first of all point out the incorrect stories, and then consider the arguments of some so-called impartial stories. I shall conclude by arguing that Hong Kong newspapers mislead people.

Unverified news is often published. A survey conducted by Hong Kong University has shown that 71 percent of Hong Kong people are satisfied with the degree of  press freedom. However, 68 of percent Hong Kong  people believed Hong Kong Newspapers are abusing the freedom of the press and it is believed that the media is irresponsible.  Most Hong Kong people think Hong Kong Newspapers  __have_reported unverified news.  It is believed that Hong Kong newspapers are not objective.

 

Thank you!

  
julielai  #435787  Sun, 28 Oct 07 04:50 AM

Grammatically, much better.  (Why do you capitalize newspapers?)

One other thing: Avoid using "it is believed that".

 Cheese1987 wrote:

Newspaper journalism today is quite different from what it was ten or twenty years ago. Instead of objective stories with detailed analyses, we now see  stories full of  exaggerations. In this essay I will first of all point out the incorrect stories, and then consider the arguments of some so-called impartial stories. I shall conclude by arguing that Hong Kong newspapers mislead people.

Unverified news is often published. A survey conducted by Hong Kong University has shown that 71 percent of Hong Kong people are satisfied with the degree of  press freedom. However, 68 of percent of Hong Kong  people believed Hong Kong Newspapers are abusing the freedom of the press and it is believed that the media is irresponsible.  Most Hong Kong people think Hong Kong Newspapers  __have_reported unverified news.  It is believed that Hong Kong newspapers are not objective.

 

Thank you!

  
Cheese1987  #435901  Sun, 28 Oct 07 11:18 AM

This is my whole passage. I hope someone can proof it. Thanks! 

         Newspaper journalism today is quite different from what it was ten or twenty years ago. Instead of objective stories with detailed analyses, we now see stories full of exaggerations. In this essay I will first of all point out three standards of being a responsible press, and then show the incorrect stories and consider the arguments of some so-called impartial stories. I shall conclude by arguing that Hong Kong newspapers mislead people.

         There are three standards define how an ethical press is - objectivity, fairness, and accuracy. Columbia University emeritus journalism professor Melvin Mencher claims Objectivity should avoid bias and sensationalism or presenting impartial information. Fairness is also advocated by John V. Pavlik. He says,’ fairness, that is, providing balanced coverage reflecting all sides of an issue.’ (John V. Pavlik,2001:93)  It is clearly that accuracy is a must. As John V. Pavlik says,’ accuracy, that is, getting the facts right and representing a story completely. (John V. Pavlik,2001:93) these three standards.

        In the following, there are examples and statistic. They can prove Hong Kong newspapers can not fulfil the above standards and therefore, Hong Kong Journalism is misleading people.

       It is dismayed that the propensity of the local media to create sensation and stir up sentiment. Kelly, a famous star in Hong Kong, said the media are exaggerating CD selliong reports. She even said,’ You know what it is - this situation is just blown up.’ This example shows  Hong Kong journalism have gone in their unscrupulous use of strategies designed to satisfy the public’s desire for sensationalism. It is regret that this practice is eroding the public's faith in the media.

        Fairness is also an important standard that it should be complied with. Nevertheless, Sunny Wong had expressed his voice in South China Morning Post. He said,’ I am worried, however, about our media, which seem to be selective about the facts they report’ (Sunny Wong,South China Morning Post,EDT16, EDT, Letters) He claimed former chief executive Tung Chee-wah had awarded an honorary degree in Hong Kong University of Science and Technology ceremony. A small group of students booed as the degree was conferred. He believed the applause largely had drowned out the booing. But all that the press reported the next day was the booing. Obviously journalists have taken sides. Distortion of reality of the stories is inconsistent with the objectivity.

      Accuracy is something that the reporter should collect facts from as many reliable sources as possible. An event may be reported as a fact if there are two or more independent eyewitnesses to it. It is unlucky that unverified news is often published. A survey conducted by Hong Kong University has shown that 71 percent of Hong Kong people are satisfied with the degree of press freedom. However, 68 percent of Hong Kong people believed Hong Kong newspapers are abusing the freedom of the press and it is believed that the media is irresponsible.  Most Hong Kong people think Hong Kong newspapers have reported unverified news.  The facts of the stories are not right and the stories are not represented completely. This statistic shows Hong Kong newspapers are not accurate in the hearts of most of Hong Kong people. It is no doubt that journalism is misleading people.

         Some people argue that some newspapers such as Mingpao, Singtao and Ta Kung Pao are famous for impartial writing. However, this good name is no longer suitable for use. Mingpao was criticized for giving an incorrect account of incident by Independent Commission Against Corruption on March,2007. Moreover, some scholars said Singtao had concealed the real motive of the incidents now. It seems that we no longer see any objective articles in the near future.

         To conclude, I believe Hong Kong Newspapers are misleading people. They cannot fulfil the standards – objectivity, fairness, and accuracy. Journalism is about reporting as it is.  It is just immoral and inhumane for newspaper to mislead people. If the approach of printing incorrect stories is allowed proliferated, journalism will eventually go down the path of tabloid journalism.

  
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