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Latest post Wed, Sep 26 2007 3:42 PM by Grammar Geek. 9 replies.
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Typesylvester  +  423565 Tue, 25 Sep 07 09:57 PM
The file is attached. Please proofread this paragraph to make it flow thanks.
Joined on Mon, Sep 24 2007
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Clive  +  423588 Tue, 25 Sep 07 10:57 PM

Hi,

I don't like to open attachments in case they contain a virus. Also, it's harder to make corrections. Please just paste your text into the actual post.

Or, perhaps someone else may be happy to work with your attachment.Smile [:)]

Best wishes, Clive

Joined on Thu, Oct 28 2004
Canada
Veteran Member 29,585
El tango argentino es un pensamiento triste que se puede bailar (The tango argentino is a sad thought which can be danced) Enrique Santos Discépolo
Typesylvester  +  423593 Tue, 25 Sep 07 11:16 PM
ok .. thanks for telling me .. here it is.

    Numerous literary works have been created since stories began to be written down. Though the number of literary works is endless, works of fiction are often more popular among young readers. The invented events and the unrealistic exaggeration of those events that the author sometimes uses makes it more appealing to young readers since less factual information is required to support the story. Consequently, works of non-fiction are often considered inferior to fiction due to their seemingly shallow plot and heavy details. However, the relevant and important information that non-fiction offers can teach readers about historical people, places, and events. The value of non-fiction combined with the realistic appeal of non-fiction, makes works like Jon Nordheimer’s “From Dakto to Detroit: Death of a Troubled Hero” and Walter Lord’s A Night to Remember, appealing for readers who prefer a more realistic world that they can relate too. The honesty and truth used, combined with the author’s narrative style and objectivity, are the crucial elements that make non-fiction effective.


Grammar Geek  +  423603 Wed, 26 Sep 07 12:03 AM

    Numerous too weak a word - more than numerous literary works have been created since stories first began to be written down. Though the number of literary works is endless not exactly endless - it's a finite number, works of fiction are often more popular among young readers. Are the works of fiction more popular among young readers than among older reader? Or are the works of fiction more popular than other types of works for young readers? The invented events and the unrealistic exaggeration a great percentage of fictional works are "realistic fiction" of those events that the author sometimes uses makes two things - that's plural - use theplural form of the verb it more appealing to young readers since less factual information is required to support the story. I don't know that that's logical -- the appeal comes from the need for less factual information? Consequently, works of non-fiction are often considered inferior by whom? to fiction due to their seemingly shallow plot non-fiction doesn't have a "plot" and heavy details some people will tell you that the heavy use of detail is one thing they love in fiction writing. However, the relevant and important information that non-fiction offers can teach readers about historical people, places, and events. The value of non-fiction combined with the realistic appeal of non-fiction, makes works like Jon Nordheimer’s “From Dakto to Detroit: Death of a Troubled Hero” and Walter Lord’s A Night to Remember, appealing for readers who prefer a more realistic world that they can relate too. The honesty and truth used, combined with the author’s narrative style and objectivity, are the crucial elements that make non-fiction effective.

Your grammar is fine. Your points are not. What is the topic sentence of your paragraph? What is the main point you want to make?

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Typesylvester  +  423619 Wed, 26 Sep 07 02:04 AM
The main point I want to make is that Non-fiction offers more information than fiction through its 3 crucial elements (as the essay question requires). How should I reflect this in the topic sentence?
Grammar Geek  +  423620 Wed, 26 Sep 07 02:13 AM

Didn't Mr. M suggest that you avoid the comparison with fiction if your essay is about non-fiction? If there are three crucial elements, then you should introduce them in your opening paragraph.

Typesylvester  +  423623 Wed, 26 Sep 07 02:30 AM
yes, Mr. M did suggest that. But the 3 crucial elements must belong to the last sentence because it is the thesis statement. I'm trying to leave the introductory sentence broad since it is the first sentence of an essay.
Grammar Geek  +  423646 Wed, 26 Sep 07 04:15 AM

Has your teacher taught you that your thesis statement must be the last line in your first paragraph?

You need to be more clear about what those three elements are - I totally missed them.

Typesylvester  +  423815 Wed, 26 Sep 07 12:33 PM
yes, the thesis statement must be the last line according to the teacher. The three elements are the honesty and truth used by the author, the objectivity, and the narrative style in non-fiction works.
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