I would like opinions on editing this letter to make it less scattered.

Thanks for your help!

"This letter is intended to serve as a recommendation for XX.
I have had the pleasure of working with XX for almost four years and am
writing this letter on her behalf. My name is YY and I am the
pharmacy manager for XX located in XX.

XX began working for me in March of 2006 and has
continually impressed me with how she has picked up on all aspects of the job
with no prior training in the field. She has an excellent work ethic and always
takes responsibility for her actions. She has great commitment to the store and
has added great value to the staff as well as the company as a whole. I know
this commitment and positive attitude have helped her well throughout college.

I agreed to write this letter for XX after hearing that
her financial aid may not be approved for the fall. XX has always handled
her personal issues as well as balancing school full time and working full time
with the utmost professionalism. I have been in this field for many years and
think she is one of the most deserving people of the gift of education that I
know. In July of 2007, XX obtained her license as a Certified Pharmacy
Technician through testing and renews this with continuing education. XX plans
on attending pharmacy school and would make a wonderful addition to the
profession.

Once again, please consider reinstating financial aid for XX.
She is an excellent employee and I greatly enjoy working with her. She will
make an excellent pharmacist one day and I hope to see her achieve her goals."