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Latest post Sun, Aug 6 2006 12:44 AM by Dj Bueno. 4 replies.
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Alexempire  +  252255 Fri, 04 Aug 06 10:40 AM
Please review the poem itself not punctuation, spelling, etc...

Here it is:   

                                                                       My face has many details
My face has many details. My hair to start, my hair has the brownness of a young stag (reminisce of Bambi). It has many fluffs, though is very straight. Straight like a ruler .It has the depth of light as well. Now my eyes, there are a camera with the lenses in the middle and all the other stuff on the side. My cheeks are deep, but limited. They are thin but a structural bone changes their shape. My eyebrow is dark like the night and is connected at the center by a row of small hairs. My eyelashes convey a dark sense of mood, a far away mood distant but still inventible. My nose has the sharpness of a blade and the dullness of a toy. My lip is long but connected to my face and conveys a mystical part and understanding of friendship. My skull is a round indented protector of life I could not live without oh no! My ears are silo absorbing any noise they come into to contact with transporting the sound to my brain which in mere seconds time gives me a repy. My chin is the fore stander, the defender it protects and does so greatly. I feel a sense of safety because of it and a feel that makes it intimidate the other face parts. My cheekbones are the strangest, making a sort of V of it at the top being wider and closing the distance every centimeter. My forehead is flat but still out parting. My face is omniscient a fairy wandering through the ever winding road of life it has taken much abuse and much love but I now say that I am happy about the way my face looks like.


Joined on Mon, Oct 31 2005
New Member 07
nona the brit  +  252400 Fri, 04 Aug 06 08:23 PM
I wouldn't say this is a poem. This is prose.
Joined on Wed, Sep 22 2004
England
Veteran Member 11,713
The name says it all.
Aleen, 3 yr 110 days ago
yep this is not a poemTongue Tied [:S]
nona the brit  +  252659 Sat, 05 Aug 06 10:35 AM

You are creating a rather odd mix of the straightforward description and poetic language.

Half of it reads like a police report:

hair: straight

and the other half like something out of a romantic novel:

a fairy wandering through the ever winding road of life

Dj Bueno  +  252886 Sun, 06 Aug 06 12:44 AM

 Nona The Brit wrote:
This is prose.

Strongly agree with u..

Joined on Mon, Jul 18 2005
Senior Member 2,087
Gulyabani vardır, korkacak bir şey yoktur.
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