Politeness using negative questions

"I'm working then. Couldn't you postpone the trip till next month?"  << To me this one sounds like you're begging -- or whining.  This one is the more likely to be heard as being manipulative.
"Could you postpone the trip till next month?"  << To me this one sounds like you're being more direct and sincere.

CJ

Geeeez, thank God I asked about this... it's definitely not the same as in Italian, LOL. This means I'm NOT going to use negative questions when I ask for a favor...

Thanks a lot for taking the time to explain this better, Jim.

CalifJim wrote:

I think it's safe to say that all negative questions expect agreement from the listener.

I understand, I feel that. It's the same in Italian. But there's also that other meaning. In other words, you can interpret negative questions in two ways. (1) "Don't you have a corkscrew?" - It can imply you think there actually is a corkscrew around, you are kind of surprised you can't find it. (2) Or it can be said when you suspect Mario's got no corkscrew, as a way to show you are surprised he hasn't got one... "Don't you have a corkscew?  Oh my gosh..." --> "You don't have one? Geeez..."
But in Italian there's a third interpretation: ! (3) "Don't you have a corkscrew (by any chance)?" => I'm merely asking very indirectly if you have one, because if you don't have one, it doesn't matter. It makes the question sound like it's not important, as if a negative answer is expected and accepted. So it's less demanding. As you guys told me, it seems this interpretation doesn't exist in English, and so I have to watch out. To get the same result, as you said, you don't ask a question, but say "You don't have a corkscrew (by any chance), do you?"

So thank you again for letting me understand that.

By the way, an interesting thing is (provided I'm not wrong) that we can clearly see the difference between interpretation (1) and (2) when we include "some" or "any". Number 1 goes with "some", number 2 goes with "any":

Don't you have some books for me? => I think you do, I'm expecting a positive answer. I'm checking if you really have some.
Don't you have any books for me? =>  I'm expecting a negative answer, I'm checking if you really have none.

Hope it makes sense

CalifJim wrote:

Here's my take (exaggerated for illustrative purposes): Don't you have some books for me? is a reminder.  It can be said with eagerness.  You are supposed to have some books for me. You said you had some books for me, but I don't see them in your hands.  Did you accidentally leave them in the car when you came in?  I'll bet you did. Don't you have any books for me? is a statement of disappointment and a mild reprimand.  It could be said as if pouting.  You always bring me books when you visit.  Why haven't you brought any this time?  Don't you like me anymore?

Yes, those work too, in those contexts. The general meaining is that, then subtle variations depend on the context... and let's not forget intonation! You know, negative questions are not really a simple subject for a non-native, on second thought, LOL. But what's most important is that I understand, and that I've found out this difference between English and Italian that could have become dangerous.


Thank you so much again for your help.