Dear Kelly,
I am a bit concerned with your choice of careers.
Can I ask you a couple of questions? Thanks, baby :-)
1) Are you outgoing and enthusiastic?
2) Do you enjoy being the center of
attention?
3) Do you like meeting people. . . and then
saying goodbye to them forever soon after?
4) Do you enjoy being stared at?
5) Are the ideas of stability, financial
reward and long-term relationships repugnant to you?
6) Do you know what "repugnant" means?
7) Do you enjoy washing your clothes in the
bathtub?
8) Does the idea of going out with women or
men who like you only because of your passport's color appeal to you?
9) Do you like strange foods cooked in less
than sanitary conditions?
10) Are you fond of trying to defend
American and British military policies?
11) Do you thrive on loneliness and
uncertainty?
12) Do you like cutting up paper into small
pieces?
13) Do you enjoy making yourself vulnerable
to the whims of rich foreigners?
14) Is the smell of whiteboard markers much
like a rare and sensual perfume to you?
15) Is the thought of owning more than one
bag of possessions repellant to you?
16) Do you enjoy trying to converse with
people who you have nothing at all in common with?
17) Could you easily dispense with such
luxuries as a pension or Social Security?
18) Do you drink heavily?
19) Is hot water a luxury you can easily do
without?
20) Does the idea of waking up early on a
Saturday to try to entertain a room full of hostile nine-year-olds appeal to
you?
21) Do you give a crap about the difference
between the present perfect and the present perfect continuous?
22) Does the idea of paying $1500 to learn
how to do something that you can't save money at sound perfectly logical to you?