| ...whether they just don't fuss about grammar... |
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BrEs on the whole tend to take the Marlon Brando approach to fussing – 'What are you fussing about?' 'What have you got?' – but I'd say that this particular usage (object pronoun + ING) isn't among the more fussed-about. (Which is surprising, in many respects.)
I find myself that sometimes 'possessive + ING' does seem to suit the sentence; but at other times, 'object + ING' feels more accurate. For instance, in our example, I find a difference between these two:
1. The teacher dislikes the boy whispering to his classmate.
2. The teacher dislikes the boy's whispering to his classmate.
In #1, it seems to me that what the teacher dislikes is 'the-boy-whispering-to-his-classmate'; whereas in #2, it's 'the boy's whispering-to-his-classmate'.
In other words, #2 emphasises the 'whispering'; but in #1, the object of dislike is the whole picture: 'the-boy-whispering'. I would read the ING in #2 as a gerund, and the ING in #1 as a participle.
(I'd be interested to know why a participle string shouldn't follow the object. In Latin or Greek, for instance, the participle would simply be put into the accusative case.)
MrP