problem with word stress

Can you give us some more examples, so we can understand the problem better?  You have trouble hearing, or speaking, the words?

There are all sorts of rules, but they don't work 100% of the time.  The examples you mentioned (photography, apostrophe) are examples of four-syllable words derived from Greek ending in the EE sound (spelled 'y', but sometimes 'e').  These take the main stress on the second of four syllables, which is often an 'o', but not always.

biography, hyperbole, geology, ontology, biology, economy, astronomy, telemetry, optometry, antipathy, lobotomy, ...

As usual, there are exceptions.

CJ

Yeah, the stress rule is one of the hardest things to learn in English. Unfortunately, it's also one of the most important aspects of the language as it ups intelligeability greatly. It is actually quite hard to understand if someone speaks flatly with no stress and equal rythm. Knowing where to stress and where to speed up and slow down is an important part of the language.

Like an example of confusion for the word 'understand' could be; if you stress the DER instead of the STAND, i might think you said "Under Stan." Then, I'd think, who in the world is Stan?

I don't think there are any websites which list these stress rules in great detail because it really does differ from word to word. And the exact same word can have a different stresses as well. An example would be "a big bird" and "Big Bird (the one from Sesame St.)".
The first one has a rising intonation, with the stress on 'bird'. The latter would have a dropping intonation, with the stress on 'big' and spoken faster as well.

The best way to learn in my opinion is hearing native speakers talk. In time, hopefully you'll be able to pick up a pattern on exactly where to stress.

Jake,
No, I don't know of a website that deals with this topic, but maybe through Google you could find one.  Try keywords like English stress pronunciation.

I believe that some bilingual dictionaries give a few tips on stress placement in the pages near the beginning of the dictionary.  Generally speaking these tips are given in terms of certain endings.  For example, almost all words ending in -ic are adjectives and are stressed on the next-to-last syllable -- the syllable which precedes -ic.

music, comic, historic, public, supersonic, photographic

Words in -ical are stressed on the syllable before the -ical, and words in -ically are similarly stressed on the syllable which precedes -ically.  (ically is pronounced as two syllables, as if icly.)

musical, comical, historical, biological, allegorical
biologically, futuristically, sympathetically

Again, the stress occurs in the syllable just before the endings -tion, -sion, -ssion, -ious, -iate, -ity, -ify -itude.

nation, tension, impression, luxurious, appreciate, electricity, gratify, latitude
alteration, constitution, vision, associate, vanity, insanity, hilarity, petrify, acidify, aptitude

Two-syllable verbs derived from Latin are usually stress on the final syllable, the first syllable being a prefix.

devote, concern, impress, expect, conflict, preserve, propel, sustain, transgress, addict, dismay, persist, permit, demand

If there is a noun spelled the same way as these verbs, the stress is often on the first syllable.  (This rule doesn't always work very well!)

permit, addict, prospect, conflict

Also, alternate stress is common in English.  That is, the usual pattern of syllables is stressed - unstressed - stressed - unstressed.  So once you know where the main stress is, secondary stress occurs in this pattern.  For example, electricity is ElecTRIcity.  photographic is PHOtoGRAPHic.

Remember:  These rules don't work 100% of the time.

CJ