Problems with english

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zickleinausdeutschland9966  #65641  Thu, 06 Jan 05 06:00 AM
hey this isnt really a riddle but its funny....

The English Lesson
We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox is oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give a boot... would a pair be beet?
If one is a tooth, and a whole set is teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?
If the singular is this, and the plural is these,
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be kese?
Then one may be that, and three be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim.
So our English, I think you will agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

I take it you already know
of tough, and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
on hiccough, through, slough and though.
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead; it's said like bed, not bead!
For goodness sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt)
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there's dose and rose and lose –
Just look them up – and goose and choose,
And cork and work and card and ward
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go, then thwart and cart.
Come, come, I've hardly made a start.
A dreadful language: Why, man alive,
I'd learned to talk when I was five.
And yet to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn't learned it at fifty-five.
  
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ericupsman  #68540  Wed, 19 Jan 05 05:38 AM
How very true. I like this one!
  
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badasstronaut  #68659  Wed, 19 Jan 05 05:20 PM
Did you write this yourself? Its great, and so, so true.
  
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Kem  #69901  Tue, 25 Jan 05 08:41 AM
im very happy to read this one. thnx for posting
  
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famila  #73765  Mon, 14 Feb 05 04:09 AM
i'm 00 in english
  
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benita  #75041  Sat, 19 Feb 05 11:30 AM
I liked this! Perfectly written!
  
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Anonymous  #293979  Thu, 16 Nov 06 07:42 PM

excellent demonstration of how problematic the english language is!!!Surprise [:O]

I must admit I'm impressed! CongratsBig Smile [:D]

  
IFrank  #294573  Sat, 18 Nov 06 01:48 AM
Excellent!
  
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