Please proofread my application letter to the US Embassy

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Super Sonic  #335521  Sun, 04 Mar 07 11:50 AM

Nomination Form: Study of the U.S. Institute for Student Leaders Summer 2007

     

Q-Please attach a personal statement (no more than one page) that outlines why you would

like to participate in this program. Indicate why you feel this program would be useful in

your future career path and in your current capacity as a student leader.

 

 A-The first reason why I would like to participate in this program is that I want to broaden my horizons by learning the culture of another country.  The fact that the country in question is the United States makes it easier for me to enjoy this program, because my field in university, Linguistics, necessitates that I be in an English-speaking country at least once in order to grasp the language better.

         The second one is that I have a leader spirit within me. I have liked to lead my friends, parents and other people since I was little. My friends say that they like my leadership, since I lead them to where they really want. Therefore, some of my friends told me that I would do quite well in this program. They are right, I trust myself that I would represent Turkey in the United States well and become a good student leader. I also think that I will make good friends in the United States. 03/03/2007

  
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nona the brit  #335541  Sun, 04 Mar 07 01:47 PM

They allow you up to a page for this so I suggest you use it.

They specifically ask why this would be useful for your future career and you don't even mention this.

Take a look at some of the university motivation letters on this forum for an idea of the sort of information you should be giving them.

  
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Super Sonic  #335577  Sun, 04 Mar 07 04:17 PM
Thank you. I've read some university motivation letters, but I can't find anything else to add to my writing. I am going to be a linguist(hopefully) and the only benefit I can get from this program is improve my English, or so I think. What else could you recommend that I write?
  
nona the brit  #335851  Mon, 05 Mar 07 09:54 AM

Well, you only say you are studying linguistics, not that you hope to make it your future career. You could discuss the sort of career you are hoping for, the type of roles and in which country(?) and how international experience will help with that.

Just expand a little on the information you have.

  
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