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Latest post Wed, Jun 20 2007 12:17 AM by Grammar Geek. 1 replies.
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Anonymous  +  381029 Mon, 18 Jun 07 02:04 PM

Sunday…

 

They told me my laptop would possibly have a great connection that could hold a maximum speed power, like you could surf like you’re as if in the fast streams of water in the beach.

 

Monday…

 

Getting the agony from the hot afternoon, I came home from school. Our house cleaner could nearly swill out her thin eyebrows, seeing she was the one who carried my bag, as if she’s my mother. She left it over the tiles of the kitchen without saying, “Pst. Where would I put these stuffs of yours?”

 

The agony from the high temperature was actually all right since I was excited. My hands were likely crossing like gnashing someone’s teeth, but good thing it’s merely a well delight.

 

For the time that had passed, an important person in our dwelling said that our internet connection would be a lot quicker than our previous sluggish connection – possibly could be the slowest as a cow under the good weather walking to get its wholesome food.

 

But when I came inside my room, they told me the so-called fast connection would be released as soon as the application form gets to the job done. Meaning it was not that particular day would the internet be that good. I was expecting too much from them. And you know what? I am very disappointed.


Thanks! Smile [:)]

 

Grammar Geek  +  381746 Wed, 20 Jun 07 12:17 AM

Anon, it appears that perhaps you used a translation program?

There are things I'm just completely mystified about, such as "Our house cleaner could nearly swill out her thin eyebrows." Or "My hands were likely crossing like gnashing someone’s teeth, but good thing it’s merely a well delight." These simply make no sense, I'm sorry to say. Perhaps you could try to rewrite it in other words. 

You need to not use "The agony" so often. Severe pain is agony - almost unbearable pain. Although the heat can be agonizing if you wander the desert without water, it's a bit extreme to say it was agony every time you are outside.

Joined on Tue, Jan 10 2006
Veteran Member 19,652
Barbara, who answers in American English. My housekeeping skills attest to the truth of the second law of thermodynamics: Left to themselves, things get more and more random!
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