proofreading#20

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BW2/3  #297740  Sun, 26 Nov 06 01:31 PM

Indeed how deeply sad John is! Every time he calls Jane up, she hangs up the phone. He has tried countless times yet failed. John has no shame of himself or rather no dignity. He could not get rid of her off his mind. It seems to him life is not worth living without Jane.

Sometimes John was wondering why Jane feels so repulsive to him. It seemed to him that he had done nothing wrong except flirting with her younger sister a lot. Of all his faults, obsession is John's greatest enemy. 

Lately John is dejected and wandering nowhere. He is growing a long beard. His mother thought he looks like an old man. Actually John dislikes the beard because it is making him itchy.

At last birthday party he went, his good friends thought he was getting insane with such a long beard. John was becoming moody at the party when he saw his ex-girlfriend with another guy. He used to think that he held her hands and kissed her whenever he liked. But the girl belonged to the fatty. It made him sick when he gave himself some imagination about them.  

At the party, John was gazing at the girl wearing eyeglasses for a long time. Someone asked him what the matter was. Somehow he was capitviting by this girl. The girl had scarlet lips, smooth cheek,and pointy nose. Somehow he had no courage to talk to her. The girl beamed at him while she was talking to her friend. All of a sudden, Jane was coming back to his mind. It was like a ghost that was haunting him for the rest of the evening. Somehow there was some mysterious power that he should have behaved himself in the party.   

Thank you

  
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Feebs11  #298270  Mon, 27 Nov 06 09:40 PM
He could not get rid of her off his mind > He could not get her off his mind  expresses this more fluently

why Jane feels so repulsive to    >  repulsed by

wandering nowhere >  wandering all over the place   or    went nowhere

His mother thought > His mother thinks   [the rest of this paragraph is in the present, so this sentence should be too]

At last birthday party he went,> At the last birthday party he went to,

getting insane >  going  or  becoming insane

he gave himself some imagination about them  > imagining what they did

Can't quite see what you mean in the last sentence
  
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