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Latest post Fri, Jul 29 2005 11:53 PM by Eimai_Anglos. 5 replies.
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Anonymous  +  122223 Thu, 28 Jul 05 09:43 PM

Hello, I need a quick grammer check here.  What I have just doesn't look right and this is going to be published so I want to make sure it's perfect.

Roxann joined the Rogue Rage team because herself, her partner and several friends started mountain biking last year, with a preference in riding trails and exploring areas of Manitoba.

Thanks!

 

davkett  +  122234 Thu, 28 Jul 05 11:02 PM

Roxann joined the Rogue Rage team because she, her partner and several friends started mountain biking last year, with a preference for riding trails and exploring areas of Manitoba.

I'm quite unclear about what exactly you are attempting to show as the cause of her joining the team. 

Did Roxann join the team because she started mountain biking last year, or because she started mountain biking with her partner and several friends, or because she has a year's experience, or because her preference is for mountain biking in Manitoba?

Joined on Tue, Jun 7 2005
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"The rose stays fresh in its name..." -Bernard of Morlay
Anonymous, 4 yr 117 days ago
 Davkett wrote:

Roxann joined the Rogue Rage team because she, her partner and several friends started mountain biking last year, with a preference for riding trails and exploring areas of Manitoba.

I'm quite unclear about what exactly you are attempting to show as the cause of her joining the team. 

Did Roxann join the team because she started mountain biking last year, or because she started mountain biking with her partner and several friends, or because she has a year's experience, or because her preference is for mountain biking in Manitoba?

 

I'm trying to show that Roxann joined the team because she started mountain biking with her friends last year as well as that her preference is for riding trails and exploring areas of Manitoba.

I'm open to any new ideas or ways of saying all this. even if it's broken up into two sentences. I realize that it's confusing which is why I'm working on being able to clarify it.  The rest of the article is ready to go, but that one sentence is holding me up.

davkett  +  122278 Fri, 29 Jul 05 03:12 AM

I'm at a bit of a disadvantage from knowing nothing about the Rogue Rage team.  The most I can assume is that The Rogue Rage team is a group of mountain bikers, who are probably well-known somewhere for extended group touring of mountainous regions (in Canada?). 

Does this help?--

Inspired by a year of experience in mountain biking with her partner and a group of friends, Roxann joined the Rogue Rage team; her preference is for riding trails and exploring areas of Manitoba.

Anonymous, 4 yr 116 days ago

Perfect!  Thank you so much!  You've got the right idea about the team, however I don't think they are well known as it's a team put together to raise money for a charity ride.

Thanks again!

Jenna

 

 

Eimai_Anglos, 4 yr 116 days ago
And it's spelt "grammar".


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