please help me review my motivation letter

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Realistic  #432056  Thu, 18 Oct 07 02:41 PM

Dear professors,

I am requesting your help to review my cover letter that is required to apply for the Fulbright scholarship in the USA.

Bellow is the quote that sets the context of the letter, and just under is my motivation letter.

With many thanks in advance,

"Please explain in detail why you feel graduate study in the U.S. would meet your needs.  Please note that financial need is not considered in awarding grants.  You should emphasize why you feel you merit the scholarship on academic, professional and personal grounds. Please provide a clear indication of the field in which you propose to specialize and why you feel this domain is important for yourself and for Morocco. Also explain how your proposed graduate degree will advance your career goals and enable you to contribute to the overall development of your country.
Please give careful thought to this statement and write it as clearly and persuasively as you can, in English.  In making its selections, the Commission pays particular attention  to how applicants answer this question."


My late father grew up in a remote Berber tribe where there was no access for school or any kind of education. In spite of his illiteracy, he was a reference in his tribe as a defender of knowledge and learning. He never spared time, effort or money to give all his children, males and females together, the best education he could afford. Further and still further did he push us all to reach higher and yet higher levels, and much did he insist on instilling into us the values of perseverance, determination and innovation, along with that unquenched thirst for knowledge and learning. Of all my brothers and sisters, I feel I have inherited that trait from him, which makes me always thirsty for higher accomplishments.

 

After I graduated from *** University with a degree in biology, I joined the family business as a production manager in the agriculture industry. I discovered then that my learning didn't prepare me for the real needs of life. I set my objectives anew, and with the support and guidance of my late father, I undertook intensive language lessons, with a view to joining YY and getting insight into business and management, the real things of modern life. When I joined the University to prepare my MBA, I found out things were not that simple or easy. My degree in biology was not that helpful with the complicated concepts I had to deal with for the first time. There was no question of giving up though. I persevered in order to catch up, and I managed to do so very well.

 

My MBA has provided me with essential knowledge and skills in such fields as management, marketing, accounting, and finance, with a strong concentration on finance though. My present job as an incubator manager opens opportunities towards practical competence about these concepts. Nevertheless, I still crave to undertake more challenges in order to reach the highest level of proficiency possible for me, especially in finance. Learning and hard work are a commitment I have made and through which I feel bound to go to the end. I feel within a strong unexplored potential that I would like to dig out, not only through getting a PhD, but also and mainly through widening my international and intercultural perspectives. It would be boastful to say I have the dream to become a mastermind in finance, but this is actually what I aspire for, all for the benefit of my country, especially in the light of globalization.

 

Morocco is compelled to improve performances and catch up with this ever changing world. It especially needs to strengthen its economic structure in order to thrive and move forward. However, economical problems are always complex, and they have to be tackled with the help of analytical and methodological techniques in order to contribute to their rational and justifiable solution. A PhD degree will definitely provide such tools, especially in the US that turns out to be the most powerful countries in the world. This fact demonstrates the effectiveness of doctoral studies in the US where a strong link between the academic and applied world can be sensed. Therefore, not only will I be improving my research skills, but I would also be learning the linkages between research and its direct implementation in real world situations. This aligns with my preference of applied rather than theoretical research. For example, my MBA thesis was purely applied in nature, and it addressed modeling the risks inherent in the agricultural sector by using financial portfolio methods. Morocco is now facing some strategic and critical issues, and it’s the responsibly of its intellectuals to find and implement feasible solutions, which should be much easier by a PhD mindset. 

 

There is also the desire to honor the wishes of my late father, who , after knowing that the first man to set foot on the moon was American, promised one of his children would get a degree from that amazing land.

  
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Anonymous  #434898  Fri, 26 Oct 07 12:26 AM

So folks,
Nobody to creep on my letter! I would really appreciate your help and I will be keeping great hopes on that.
Peace,
  
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