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Latest post Sun, Mar 25 2007 11:50 PM by Tabula_rasa. 2 replies.
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Anonymous  +  340817 Mon, 19 Mar 07 01:03 PM
Hello everybody,
 
I'm going to have a rather important test in the English language soon and really need to improve my writing.
That is why I'm writing quite a lot at the moment, but it is difficult to find mistakes yourself - short: I'm glad I found this place.
 
I'd be really thankful if you could review the following text and inform me about any grammar, spelling or punctuation mistakes (last is the most difficult for me...). It would be also be nice if you would tell me if my language becomes low colloquial anywhere. It is the summary of some newspaper article about cloning.
 
Thx in advance! Smile [:)]
 
***********

In „Cloning and Liberty“ Matt Ridley tells us about his view on modern genetic engineering and comments on the common reaction to the cloning of sheep Dolly.

He was surprised, that the successful cloning of a mammalian came all of a sudden to most of us. While reminding us, that the first artificial cloning was established already 30 years ago, he tries to point out, why there is no need to fear progress in this relatively new field of research.

Spieling about the human angst of all new technologies Ridley makes clear, how all these technologies eventually were part of the avenue to prosperity, whereby he thinks about cloned as compensation for damaged organs.

Still it is not clear, when science will be ready to clone a human being. All experiments to clone mice have failed so far, which is due to the early differentiation of mice embryos. The differentiation of human embryos lies midway between sheep and mice. Even though there are still great hurdles to overcome, the author assumes that it is only a matter of time, until what so many fear becomes reality – cloned humans.  

He admits, that one day, cloning, like all other technologies before, will be misused. By emphasizing, that there has been no such incident in the last 25 years he instantly weakens this argument.

Ridley proposes a temporary embargo to rethink unsettled questions and to celebrate the potential benefits afterwards, instead of rushing to ban human cloning.

To Ridley it is important to strengthen individuality. More liberty will antagonize uniformity. It will not hurt me, if my neighbour decides to clone himself, as long as it is his free wish.

Countries who suffer from a dictatorship could exploit human reproductive cloning though. But this problem does not lie in the process itself, but in the missing liberty of these countries.

 
*******
 
 
julielai  +  341117 Tue, 20 Mar 07 03:06 AM

My two cents: You need to review the usage of commas. I don't know what marking scheme your examiner will use, but misplaced commas give essay scorers a very bad impression.

Joined on Sun, Oct 24 2004
Senior Member 3,836
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Tabula_rasa  +  343459 Sun, 25 Mar 07 11:50 PM

Hi,

I revised your paragraph. Hope this helps. Commas that are improperply used were omitted. Some phrases were added as well.

***sheila

In "Cloning and Liberty", Matt Ridley tells us about his view on modern genetic engineering and comments on the common reaction to the cloning of sheep Dolly.

He was surprised  that the successful cloning of a mammalian came all of a sudden to most of us. While reminding us that the first artificial cloning was established already 30 years ago, he tries to point out why there is no need to fear progress in this relatively new field of research.

Spieling about the human angst of all new technologies Ridley makes clear how all these technologies eventually were part of the avenue to prosperity, whereby he thinks about cloned as compensation for damaged organs.

Still, it is not clear when science will be ready to clone a human being. All experiments to clone mice have failed so far which is due to the early differentiation of mice embryos. The differentiation of human embryos lies midway between sheep and mice. Eventhough there are still great hurdles to overcome, the author assumes that it is only a matter of time until what so many fear becomes reality – cloned humans.  

He admits that one day, cloning, like all other technologies before will be misused. By emphasizing that there has been no such incident in the last 25 years, he instantly weakens this argument.

Instead of rushing to ban human cloning, Ridley proposes a temporary embargo to rethink unsettled questions and to celebrate the potential benefits afterwards.

For Ridley it is important to strengthen "individuality" because he believes that more liberty will antagonize uniformity. Well, it will not hurt me if my neighbour decides to clone himself as long as it is his free wish.

Countries who suffer from a dictatorship could exploit human reproductive cloning though, but this problem does not lie in the process itself rather in the missing liberty of these countries.

Joined on Sun, Mar 25 2007
Philippines
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