Ok, here's the deal: I like writing lyrics (only lyrics, because I can't match my lyrics to my guitar playing...), and I decided to write one just for fun. The theme is about a girl (like a perfect girl) and basketball. So, the girl is not only beautiful but is a great player as well.

I have written a few lines and rhymes alredy, but it turns out to be more difficult than I expected to be because I have to make a connection between the basketball movements (such as: fade away, lay up, tripple, crossover, you see wthat I mean..) and the reactions that the boys (audience) have. Notice that everytime I say them/their/they, I'm talking about the "boys".

Just to give you an example of what I've been doing:

You can see them fall

after you shoot the ball.

You made loose their way

with that perfect fade away

(here is suppose to come a chorus or something that keeps repeating during the all song)

You make them dribble

after your smooth triple.

You make them run for cover

after your amazing crossover.

So, basicaly, I want to know what you think and I would like you to answer something for me:

I want to rhyme loop with hoop, but I can't connect them. Maybe:

You make them loop

when you shoot the hoop.

Is this possible?

One more thing, this one was originally for this song but I'll try to put on another one:

With a pair of jeans

a normal swet

you'll gonna put

those boys all wet.

Does it sound to lame?

So, please be honest and tell me what you think.

Help me out here

You make them whoop

when you shoot a hoop

reads a little bit better.

The last verse 'with a pair of jeans' doesn't really hit the spot, in my opinion, but I'm no song writer.

Perhaps, you could focus more on describing the girl and a little less on the basketball, using just a few lyrics using sports terms to remind the listener, occassionally, that she is a player.

Don't give up, keep trying. I'm sure none of the greats managed to master the art immediately.