So you mean that you have to wait for a very jelous girl that cannot imagine her lover to have past relationships with anyone else! It is difficult, but it is possible.
I quite agree with your comments on unofficial marriages. You also mentioned that those relationships/marriages are easier to break up. Maybe, and maybe not. It seems that married couples are also get divorced very easily nowadays, with the same reasons that you mentioned for non-married ones.
I've come from a broken family myself, my parents are married now to other people. I wish they would stayed together. But I know that relationship could never work for them, no matter if their bound was official or not. I guess, they didn't have any other choice. And they had to let go of their past and go on with their lives. And I love them both none the less. Though I was angry with them for quite a time for bringing me to this world! And that's why that I have no kids after 7 years of marriage, though I know that I won't have the same future. But this is something else, not related to our discussion. Just I wanted to say that sometimes a break up is inevitable, and I do not think that the couple have to be punished for that.
And there is also something else that you have to consider. As you know, the time is passed that the couple thought that they were stuck with each other forever. Women know claim that they have equal rights (we are not talking wheather they are right). And that's one of the causes of breaking up. In my opinion, if you do not have any experience with your opposite sex (I do not mean sex, though sex could be a part of it), it gets much more difficult to gain a recognition on them. Sometimes, you think thast you want something, but when it comes to practice, you find out that that is not what you wanted. And you cannot decide about your likings and dislikings just by thinking. You have to practice them. If you have enough experience (it doesn't mean that you have to have lots of relationships,..., sometimes only one is enough), then you'll have much clearer thought of what you are looking for, and which girls can fall into your category.
As I said earlier, I do not mean to condemn your thought, and I definitely respect you for having such a romantic character, I really do. I just wanna say that the time is changed. And for having a longer lasting relationship, sometimes you need to have some experience. By experience, I do not mean a physical relationship necessarily.
And one thing that I tried to mention indirectly before is that sometimes it is not the girl's fault that she's not a virgin. Maybe she's a victim of a rape or something like that, even poverty. And I think it is not fair to punish them for that. Even sometimes they are victims of their own mistakes, and they are remorseful and have punished themselves enough, so what about these people? You'll probably say that there are enough boys willing to have relationship with them. But what about if you fall in love with such a victim, and you see her suffering. Will your question be that you want a virgin, or the first thing you say about yourself is that you are only interested in virgin girls no matter why they lost their virginity? Remember the thing you said that men are usually more jelous than women? I just wanna mention that women are also gifted with a great power of forgiveness (more than men) and I think a girl sharing your opinion on virginity more probably forgive her partner on such a case. Just think about these issues. I respect your choice no mateer what your response is.

Shariar, I swear by God. Every word and every thought you said resemble precisely my own thoughts. Not only am I in the exact same situation as you are, my thoughts resemble yours exactly; except I am not willing to marry a woman unless she is a beleiver, either Muslim, Jewish or Christian. But just like you, finding a woman who is a virgin is extremely important to me because I have taken the liberty myself to wait and will continue to do so because it's something I value very much; and I can guarantee that it is much harder for us to wait than it is for girls to wait, because sex is a thought that consumes our mind on a daily basis. But likewise, virginity is a sign that you truly cherish the emotional and physical and spiritual bond that I feel should ideally come with marriage; and anyone who cherishes it as much as I do would have to be a virgin as well. And just like you, I would rather die alone and proud rather than marry a woman who does not share my values and who I cannot bond with totally and completely; regardless of my suffering. I am 20 years old now and I have 5 years left to finish my studies; so it's not too bad, I'll be 26 or so when I'm ready to look for a wife. I don't know how old you are, but maybe my situation is not as bad as yours. But for both of us it will be difficult to find the right woman, who shares our values. Don't worry brother, you are not alone and you are not the only one. The fools you go to school are so proud for having had sex already--- they're proud of following their animalistic and doing exactly what their body tells them; they're proud of having no patience and being irresponsible; they're proud of having no control of their mind or body; they're proud of puttying no value on the true bond between soulmates; so let them be proud, it's all that they have left. But don't think for a moment that you are on the wrong path, Trust me brother; THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE THOSE FOR WHICH YOU SUFFER, otherwise it would NOT BE WORTH HAVING. Be patient and God will give you the woman you deserve; both of us.

take care brother,

-Ayman

You guys are great! I'm waiting too! I'm a girl though and I can't help but think that there are not many guys out there waiting. I'm just trusting though that I'll find the right person out there. Maybe he'll be a virgin, maybe he won't be. Of course I want him to be a virgin but I also understand that people make mistakes. As long as he has the same view as me that sex is a mutual giving of oneself to their spouse completely for the rest of his life then I can forgive him earlier mistakes. Born-again virgins probably understand the full value of waiting even more than I do. I figure that if I love him and I'm willing to give myself to him for the rest of my life (and him to me) that I can also forgive his past.

But don't worry about there being "no virgins left". A lot more people are waiting than you think. So don't worry about it. Each day comes with it's own burdens so there is no point worrying about a problem that has surfaced for you yet -- cross that bridge when you get to it. In the mean time though, you convince your guy friends to keep their pants on. Chastity is sooo attractive.

 

 

Chastity is for lovers!

Hey guys,

Grossartigbabie , I just want to say that, I do not think keeping his/her virginity is out of date...it's a choice. It's like choosing not to smoke, with the exception that it almost draws its roots from the holy writings, and traditions...still, it's a choice that one makes. Nowadays, people are more attracted to sex and the like, but knowing that there are people that prefer to keep their chastity is the proof that chastity is still of  topicality.. There is a saying that we always use in my country. The English translation may sound like this " The exception confirms the rule". You guys are it...You are that exception. So if you really are willing to keep your chastity, stay clear of such thoughts.

"Some rich men want to marry virgins who broadcast on newspapers.But they had many sex partners.How come they request their future wives are virgins? It is unfair!!!""

I agree with you. I know what you are talking about, and I feel the same. Sometimes, when a man discovers that the young girl he's just married isn't a virgin, he repudiates her, forgetting that he himself did the same to other girls, daughters of other dads and moms, sisters of other boys/girls, future wives of other men, just like him....and that simply sickens me.

I wish everybody (boys/girls) just had the ability to expect nothing but what he/she has done to others, and settle for what he/she gets.

Dear Shahriar,

You are not alone.  First of all, I am a 28 year old virgin and just finished my Ph.D.  It's interesting that once in graduate school, you meet more people with the same mindset.  Most of my friends in grad school are either married or virgins and only in the US and Europe is pre-marital sex so widely practiced.  I, too, come from an Iranian background and fully understand you.  What people don't realize is that marriage is more than just a certificate.  If you enter a relationship with a marriage mindset, you tend to be more choosy, but eventually find a better match, than to just jump into a relationship and later have to break it off.  If you look at the divorce rates in Iran and other like countries, you will find much lower divorce rates and much happier families.  When people start to have premarital sex, it is no longer the important sacred thing.  A simple example shows this.. You being a virgin, want  a virgin, because that's important to you.  Others who are not, don't care, and people find their likes.  When people have premarital sex, it is not as sacred and it is easier for them to have sex with others once inside the marriage (e.g., cheating).  And in many other countries, including Iran, middle east, China, India, ... viriginity is very important.  You don't see a bunch of cheaters on mass media and TV making fun of virgins, because it is in fact the way of life.  So, be patient.. join some websites like IranianPersonals.com  or shaadi.com    I'll even be more than glad to introduce my own sister who's also a virgin to you if you want.  What's interesting is I had the same thoughts but once a sudden when the time comes you'll see girls (good girls) lined up everywhere.  Right now that's what's happening to me and many of them (very hot) actually like me (moderate looking) just because of my virginity and high morals. so just be patient but do your thing on internet searching as well.  all the best to you my friend.