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Latest post Sat, Feb 3 2007 4:15 AM by Usenet. 1 replies.
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wcmartell    748484 Sat, 03 Feb 07 12:56 AM

DEAD SPOTS
by William C. MartellIs your story going somewhere, and is it getting there? One of the main reason why scripts lose momentum is because the writer gets off track. The script loses direction. Goes off course. Your protagonist was fighting for her goal, then decided to take a side trip that has nothing to do with attaining that goal. Next thing you know, they're adrift in subplots or - worse - just adrift... no wind in the story's sails.

In real life we may lose focus of what we want in life, but in REEL life our characters should always know what they want and be actively trying to get it. When an obstacle gets in their way, they should jump over it or squeeze past it, or in cases where they get knocked flat on their butts: they should get up, brushes themselves off, and get back to work! Screenplays are about people who DO THINGS.

Before there were Pirates In The Caribbean, there was MASTER AND COMMANDER. Based on a popular series of novels by Patrick O'Brien, directed by Peter Weir and starring Russell Crowe hot off GLADIATOR, everyone thought this film would be a huge hit and launch a series of big adventure stories on the high seas. Didn't happen.

Critics liked the film, but it didn't seem to connect with the audience... despite some of the greatest and most realistic battles on the high sea ever shown on film. I'm a big fan of swashbuckler films, read a stack of Sabatini novels when I was a kid, and love all of those Errol Flynn Warner Brothers films like THE SEA HAWK and CAPTAIN BLOOD, but MASTER AND COMMANDER just lost me about halfway through - it hit a dead spot and never fully recovered.
The film opens with a bang, as a newly promoted kid on night watch thinks he may have seen something in the fog. A ship? Or does he just need good night's sleep? Just when he's decided it's the latter, a French battle ship breaks through the fog - ready to attack. The kid sounds the alarm, and sleeping sailors mobilize to fight off the attack. If you don't think cannon ball is a dangerous thing, you haven't seen this movie! The French battleship fires - and rips through the ship! Tearing up everything (and anyone) that gets in its way. Russell Crowe, as Captain "Lucky Jack" Aubrey, comes up with battle tactics that manage to repel the French battleship and allow them to escape with their lives...
Well, some of them. Below decks is awash with blood and gore as the ships Doctor Maturin (Paul Bettany) sews up crew members with needle and thread and amputates limbs with a saw. Just as the battles are realistic and savage, the surgery is just as vivid. Just as Aubrey is a wizard of naval tactics, Maturin is a fantastic improvisational doctor - at one point using a coin to patch a hole in a crew member's skull.After this rousing start, the film slows for a while - drifting. We learn the ship's mission is to sink any French vessels - and the elusive French battleship is now their target. Maturin and Aubrey play musical instruments together - both are educated men and Maturin acts as Aubrey's conscience. We are also brought into the world of the 19th century British Navy during the Napoleonic War. Boys are assigned to ships and grow up to become officers - if they survive.

Because the boys are small and light, they can perform tasks that grown men can not do. The youngest, Midshipman Blakeny, is Aubrey's ward - and this is a story where even a kid can get maimed in battle - Blakeny loses an arm. The kid spends the rest of the film with a stump where his arm once was. Very realistic.
They chase the French battleship, and the French battleship chases them. After a violent battle, their ship is in pieces - barely able to sail. The crew wants to go to shore and make repairs... but Aubrey has become like Captain Ahab chasing the great white whale in MOBY . He's not going to stop until that French ship has been sunk. He is so single-minded of purpose that his crew is on the verge of mutiny.

One of the problems is that we don't really understand his motivations for risking everything to sink this French ship. He almost kills his crew trying to make repairs while they continue the chase... and a couple of men die in a fierce storm that he decides to go through. Unfortunately, one of the men who dies is a crew favorite (a newlywed who earlier built a scale model of the French battleship to help Aubrey find ways to destroy it). Because we don't understand the decision to chase the French ship *at the cost of characters we like*, we start to disconnect from the story. Our hero has now become a maniac.
Up until now, Aubrey has been an uncomplicated character. A great naval tactician, a leader of men. The conflict was all external - that French battleship. In a strange way, the battleship is like the shark in JAWS... this killing machine that keeps breaking through the fog to attack. The battleship is always seen from a distance - so it seems more like a monster than a wooden boat with a crew and captain. But in chasing the battleship, Aubrey has developed this crazed single- mindedness that is putting his crew in peril. Now we have an emotional conflict as well as a physical conflict.
That's a good thing, if we had a better grasp on Aubrey's motivation. Instead we get a heart-to-heart talk with Dr. Maturin about how Jack is pushing the crew to the point of mutiny. Aubrey goes ballistic at this - his crew will follow orders!
Though we're losing the audience a bit, at least we're still moving forward. The sails of our story are full of wind: chasing the French ship and Aubrey's conflict with the crew.
But then a strange thing happens... and it kills the story. Aubrey decides to give up the chase and let the crew have some R&R on the Galapagos Islands. This is a big character arc scene for Aubrey, but the story suffers for it.
You see, when Aubrey decides to stop the pursuit and go to shore, the physical conflict (French battleship) is set aside for the Galapagos scenes... and the emotional conflict (Aubrey's single-mindedness) is resolved... and the conflict between Aubrey and his crew is resolved. Leaving no conflict at all. Nothing. No wind in the story's sails.

Creating a huge dead spot in the story.
There is no conflict at all. No goals, no obstacles, nothing. Just a picnic on the Galapagos Islands th seems to go on forever. The film loses all momentum. It just dies. They need to keep either the external conflict alive or the emotional conflict - not lose both at the same time for an entire sequence!
Eventually, Maturin's exploration of the island results in his spotting the French battleship in a cove. (Great irony that it's Maturin who spots it - he has to cut his exploration short for Aubrey's quest). Now we get back to the chase - but the film has lost momentum and seems to plod through the last battle. What could have been a great movie that spawned an entire series - like the Pirates movies - ends up being a one-off. There are a stack of Patrick O'Brien books waiting to hit the screen... and it will not happen. When a film loses its wind and just drifts, the smooth sailing is over.

To keep your script on course with a sails full of wind, know what your protagonist's goal is, what their current plan to achieve that goal is, and keep your eye on the ball. Make sure every scene is propelled by conflict - that's the wind in the sails of your story! Do you know where your script is going? Is every scene taking it there?

Novels have the time to take little scenic excursions along the way to their destination - a film only has 90-120 minutes to get to the destination... no time for dilly-dallying! We can't stop for a picnic and sketch some bugs.
Look at every scene in your script - is it giving the audience new information? Does it feature either the physical conflict of the story or the emotional conflict? Is the conflict *active* - are characters struggling with it?
Every scene in your script should be there for a reason. No dead spots. Keep it sailing along.
- Bill
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nmstevens    748504 Sat, 03 Feb 07 04:15 AM

"DEAD SPOTS by William C. Martell Is your story going somewhere, and is it getting there? One of the main ... Every scene in your script should be there for a reason. No dead spots. Keep it sailing along. - Bill"

I was struck by exactly the same thing but I think that the mistake is even more egregious that you suggest, because there's a whole lead- in to there ending up on Galapagos (I think they actually go there briefly once and then have to return there a second time which, as far as I can see is probably two times too many).
That's because, having established this desperate drive to seek out this French ship, at a certain point, the Doctor is accidentally shot on board ship and I thought Oh, great, now, with his best friend just shot and the only person capable of treating any of the wounded, including himself, now down for the count here is the perfect time, dramatically, for the bad guy to show up.

But no. Instead, they decide that this is the perfect time for the main character to decide to give up the chase, because, apparently, without a doctor to treat the wounded, he doesn't feel that he can effectively fight this French ship so back he goes to the Galapagos where they can effectively treat the Doctor on dry land.

Then, with all of the air out of the sails they've given up the chase, the French ship is presumably gone, now the Doctor is getting better and out of the blue here comes the French ship.

But at this point it's like who cares? It's obviously no longer a threat, and the guy who was so obsessed about chasing it had essentially quit so yes, it's now wandered back into range and now they'll go after it again but big deal.
That is, if the test of the drama is you have duty on the one side and personal issues on the other what is this man willing to give up in order to do his duty the lives of his crew, their respect and now it comes down to the life of his friend. Nope. Won't give that up. Bye bye, duty, we're heading back to the Galapagos.

And that's the point. He's made the critical decision of the story when he gives up the chase to save his friend's life.

And frankly, within the context of the story it's a shitty decision. He should continue the chase. Duty should clearly take precedence.
So it isn't only that the air goes out of the story dramatically, because nothing is moving the story forward, it also goes out of the story *thematically* because the fundamental issue what is at stake duty vs. friendship is resolved. He's made his choice and then along comes the ship and he figures out some little trick and manages to catch it, but again so what? It all comes, in a sense, after the key decision.
It's almost as if Rick arranges for Ilsa to go with Victor Laszlo, and they get away and then the movie goes on for another fifteen or twenty minutes before there's a final showdown with the bad guy Nazi.

Who cares? The key issue would already have been resolved.

NMS
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