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Cute572  #531812  Tue, 24 Jun 08 11:04 AM
Hello Guys!

Tell me the semicolon is correctly placed between two ideas.  

The two puffy pillows, with matching texture, sits at corner side of bed; reminding the pillow fights I had with my best friend, who often came for chit chat and study.


  
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Old Man Gordon  #531828  Tue, 24 Jun 08 12:20 PM

It's not correct.

You need to have complete, independent clauses on each side of the semicolon.

The semicolon replaces conjunctions like 'and', when the connection is clear.

A simple change can make it more correct..

The two puffy pillows sit at the corner of the bed; they remind me of the pillow fights ...

  
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Cute572  #531841  Tue, 24 Jun 08 01:36 PM
 

Thanks Gordan! Smile

 The mid phrase we are skiping "with matching texture"? 

Could you please also check this sentence. Its balanced ?

The relish colors of  bed sheet are blending with the luminous sunrays, like rainbow rings and arousing the hidden beauty of my room. 

underlined metaphor fits the context of sentence? 

  
Grammar Geek  #531847  Tue, 24 Jun 08 01:51 PM

Hi Cute,

A lot of things don't fit here.

First, "relish" colors doesn't work. The lively colors, perhaps.

You need an article or a possessive before "bed sheets."

A solid object doesn't "blend" with the sun. It can glow in the sunlight, or, if it's shiny, shimmer.

Remove the comma before "like"

"Arousing" is also not the right word.

Why is the beauty hidden?

  
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Cute572  #531860  Tue, 24 Jun 08 02:12 PM
The relish colors of the bed sheet are blending with the luminous sunrays like rainbow rings and arousing the hidden beauty of my room.

 

 An amber colors of the bed sheet... Ok ?

Well i m trying to blend bed sheet colors not bed sheet itself. 

Arousing mean stimulating , encouraging or raising the hidden beauty of thing around. Need some other word ?

The word beauty doesn't fit? 

  
Grammar Geek  #531990  Tue, 24 Jun 08 07:41 PM

Rainbows are many colors. Are these brightly striped sheet?

  
Cute572  #532052  Tue, 24 Jun 08 10:18 PM
Hello GG!

Well i was trying to insert some how a metaphor. But it seemed awkward now as how can bed sheet colors and sunlight give rainbow in room. Sad

I have rearranged it again and cutting the rainbow. Tell me it look like a sentence?

 The luminous sunrays are brightening the chromatic colors of the bed sheet and thus nature has blended with the printed design of the sheet.

This bold words are fit in or need commas? 

And whats exactly Texture mean? i assumed its design of surroundings. like kitchen tiles texture Indifferent  

Thanks! 

  
Goodman  #532075  Tue, 24 Jun 08 11:08 PM

The two puffy pillows, with matching texture, sits at corner side of bed; reminding the pillow fights I had with my best friend, who often came for chit chat and study.

 

Hi cute,

Good to see you back! As I advised you before, fragments can not make sentences but they can be used to add context to  the main sentence body. i.e. 
Standing in heavy rain at he bus stop waiting over half an hour for her friend  who never showed upJennifer subsequently was sick with a fever.  
In this sentence, I have used 4 fragments (or phrases) to create a mental image of her, standing anxiously in the rain, kept looking at her watch desspite the downpour.

It’s important that you understand we are not try to scrutinize your creativity.  But if we don’t point out the mistakes and the improper usages, then we take away the purpose of the forum.

Your descriptive writing requires the essential components which are absent: logic, the vision to see as the readers, structure and the right adjectives at the right place.

This is how it came to me: Is the texture of the pillows  important to the description?  What texture?  Colors and patterns ?  Fluffy pillows – not puffy.

Puffy is  her eyes when a girl  was crying for hours after she found out her boyfriend has another girlfriend.

Pillows are usually not placed at corners of beds, [decorative cushions] are.

 

  
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Cute572  #532081  Tue, 24 Jun 08 11:25 PM
 

Thanks for your welcome Smile

Well Goodman really i m trying to write description but still not picking up the observing eye. The first thing came i wrote and rearrange to build somehow a complete sentence. Anyhow so Puffy doesn't go with Pillows, Fluffy pillow u suggests?

Corner also doesn't fit? then how i will say i mean where its exatly placed ? should i insert geometry terms to describe ? 

I want to match its texture design with bed sheet. But now i have looked dictionary it say texture means feeling touch etc i don't understand how ?

And Mr Goodman, I am not angry for picking my mistakes. In fact i want to be corrected and become good in English grammar. You can imagine how frustrating it is to write description for the first time. So please don't mind it Smile

  
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