Sentence questions Thank you

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Bsss10  #206172  Tue, 14 Mar 06 07:59 PM
Hello, 

I am not sure whether the four sentences make sense in term of grammar and semantics.
Can you give me a hand with checking them
Thank you for your help.

1. Society should identify children with special talent who are cultivated and nurtured at an early age so that they can make a breakthrough in their areas.

2. Children who have a genius for arts must be identified at their early age during which children have more opportunity to develop their unique skills and vivid imagination.

3.The distinction between professional and other academic fields and artistic domains is that the former doesn’t place much emphasis on inspiration and imagination. Consequently, those who are successful in political, business, or academic fields don’t receive relevant training in their childhood.

4.It was not until kerry Kuo stepped into a job market that he began to gain the knowledge of electronics and business. By his effort, he leads his company to be the world’s fourth largest electronics manufacturing service (EMS) provider.

 

  
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Clive  #206195  Tue, 14 Mar 06 09:41 PM

Hi,

I've tried to keep your words as much as possible.

1. Society should identify children with special talents, and then cultivate and nurture them at an early age so that they can make a breakthrough in their areas.

2. Children who have a talent for the arts must be identified at an early age during which they will have more opportunity to develop their unique skills and vivid imagination.

3.The distinction between the professional domain and others, such as the academic and artistic, is that the former does not place much emphasis on inspiration and imagination. Consequently, those who are successful in the political, business, or academic fields do not receive relevant training in their childhood. I'm not sure that this 'consequence' follows logically from the first sentence.

4.It was not until Kerry Kuo stepped into the job market that he began to gain a knowledge of electronics and business. Through his efforts, he has lead his company to be the world’s fourth largest electronics manufacturing and service (EMS) provider.

Best wishes, Clive

  
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