When I entered to family studies class, in my mind I always wondered what was this class? What I am doing in family studies? What I have to learn about family when I knew already? For me, a family has nothing to talk that much. Is this interesting topic to talk about? But from this class I have been interested in two theories - Birth order and Family roles.
What do you know about Birth Order? What I knew birth order was where a child places in the family. It was a birth order. But I did know more the deep meaning of the birth order and the different from firstborn, middle born, youngest born, and only children. After, I learned in family studies. Only Child is a child feels incompetent because adults are more capable. This child may feel special, center of attention, spoiled, feels unfairly treated when doesn’t get own way and may feel lonely. Firstborn was much different than the only child from some of the part. Firstborn may have responsibilities and expectations, used to being center of attention, being right, controlling often important. May respond to birth of second child by feeling unloved, keep attention from parents, and sometimes strives to protect and help others. And for the second child, never has parents’ undivided attention, trying to catch up or overtake first child, may feels unloved, left out, feels doesn’t have place in the family, feels life is unfair, always feels unhappy. And the youngest child always feels every one bigger and more capable. Behaves like only child. Feels smallest and weakest than other, may not be taken seriously, getting own way and may youngest child in the family will against middle child and oldest child… In this class, I have been teach a lot to defined myself in my family and what the different between oldest born, middle born, youngest born. For my experience being a youngest girl in family of nine-sibling make me feel like youngest girl forever do not grow up. Even those I was twenty years old already. I always want to be able to do the things older siblings are allowed to do. I do not aloud to talk when all the oldest people talking, I cannot argue with my other sibling because I am a youngest. They think the youngest always wrong, the oldest always right. And older siblings may feel that the youngest siblings like me get away with things they were not able to when they were the same age. My oldest sibling really much got all control from other siblings. And I believe the first-born always get expectations and responsibilities from parents more than other. For example; when I did something wrong in my family, my parents always complain to my older sibling because they was not watching on me that why I did it wrong… but my parents was not really yell at me that much when I did some thing wrong than my other sisters. And other thing good to be youngest girl in the family is my parents always care about me more than my other siblings and I did not have a rush on expectations and responsibilities from my parents like other sibling. I will do whatever I want to do with out expectation…
“( Family roles are the recurrent patterns of behavior by which individuals fulfill family functions and needs (Epstein, N. B. Bishop, D., Ryan, C., Miller, & Keitner, G. (1993) Individual members of families occupy certain roles such as child, sibling, and grandchild. Along with roles come certain social and family expectations for how those roles should be fulfilled. For example, parents are expected to teach, discipline, and provide for their children. And children are expected to cooperate and respect their parents. As family members age, they take on additional roles, such as becoming a spouse, parent, or grandparent. A person's role is always expanding or changing, depending upon his or her age and family stage.”)
Now I would like to take a reader to my movie I had been watching it and applying to the two theories I had been talking about. The movie “Crimes of the Heart,” written by Beth Henley, is a story of three sisters, who reunite at old grandparents home in Hazlehurst, Mississippi. Their mother had hung herself and the pet cat. Their father had already left them. And like the most families, these three sisters have their fair share of laughter, jealousy, and differences. Meg’s Hollywood singing career is a bust; Lenny is a lonely woman and the youngest girl Babe. She has shot her husband following years of abuse.
In this movie, Meg is the oldest child in the family of three sisters but she was not having responsibilities for her siblings. All she cares about singing career, and she also drinks, smoke a lot. She was acting like a middle child. She doesn’t care anything. Lenny is the middle child, but she acting like the oldest child like takes good care grandfather in the hospital, organizing house…ect. For example; when Babe made a lemonade dinks in the kitchen for Meg, Lenny, and Babe. Lenny was the one yell of Babe did not make the mess in the kitchen. But not oldest Meg yells at Babe. Meg was not care about house had to be clean or not, Meg did smoke in the house and she doesn’t care the house will have all smell of smoke. Meg always joked around like making fun of chick cousin by chicken… and never takes serious things. Meg also make funny of Lenny because she on the way to becoming a spinster. And for the youngest girl Babe was always do what she wants to do. She was shot her husband in the stomach and is getting bailed out of jail. She doesn’t want to explain why it happened between her husband and her. For example; Babe said she shot her husband because “she didn’t like his looks! I just didn’t like his stinking looks!’ Babe had least experienced and she did not feel it was a big problem could be considering murder. After she shot her husband, she was acting normal like nothing happen. She did not have responsibilities for what she did; she did want to run away from her problem like she want to hanging herself like her mother did. Babe was adult person but she had a crush on15 year’s old black boy. He was still a little kid. She
thought she was the same age with young guy or something? She was a marry girl. She acting like she did not have a family. She could handout with many men she want she want or something? She was adult but she thought still a little kid. Playing around,
dressed nice cloth, do what she wanted to do. She always let her sibling being worrying about her problem.
In the other side of this movie, I did apply this movie to family roles. In these family roles, they were labeled the enabler, the hero, the scapegoat, the mascot and the lost child. But in this movie I can apply only three theories in this movie because the movie only has three main characters. And can be take only three roles in the family.
The Hero distracts from the dysfunction by succeeding in some area, like sports or school, to focus the family’s attention away from the dysfunctional member. And this Hero place will be a Meg in the movie because Meg in the movie was a characters standout in her family career going to Hollywood singer major and she had been involved in many sport when she was in high school. She made Lenny jealous because she had so many boyfriends but Lenny didn’t have one. It was make her become a hero in her sibling. And for the Enabler distracts from the dysfunction by “saving” the dysfunctional member from the consequences of their dysfunctional actions. For the Enabler for Lenny take cover because Lenny in family of three sisters, she always try to take care of her of her youngest sister Babe. And other example make Lenny standing in the enabler role was when chick come the Lenny grandfather house and keep talking bad thing about her sibling, Lenny did take a boom to hit a chick cousin because she did not want chick talk behind her sibling back. That why, she did hit chick to make chick stop talking and get
out of her house. Lenny did that because she did not want other people hurt her sibling feeling and it was call “saving” family. And for the last roles can apply in this movie is
scapegoat distracts from the dysfunction by creating some other problem, lie stealing or teen pregnancy, to distract the family’s attention away from the dysfunctional member. And this scapegoat for Babe takes spot because Babe always did not listening and unacceptable behaviors from other people. She did what she wants to do without telling everybody. And all their problems would be solved. For example; she did not care about she will went to the jail because she did shot her husband without explain what happen to her between her and her husband to her sibling.
For this conclusion, I would like to tell the reader is family studies was an interest topic. From this class, I had been learning a lot about how to dandifying a family by how each member of the family acts and had done. I did not know a family has so many roles to fix in there before. And from this class, I did know what roles in my family have been fix in for each member of my family. And I think this class will help my future a lot when I have a family, I will try to be a happy family not a family has so many trouble and problem running like other movie I had watch in class call Ordinary People. This movie did let me know more about family roles. And this is a good movie to watch. Have you ever watched this movie?