Sentence structure help

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Anonymous

#562624 Fri, 05 Sep 08 01:03 AM

I was needing some help with this sentence:

Another of his well used poetic devices is alliteration, describing the outcome of the storm, becoming, “smooth and streamlined.”

I don't know whether or not I need all of the commas or if there is another symbol I need to add to the sentence in place of a comma.

Thanks for your time.

Anonymous

Sentence Structures, Commas, Alliteration

Clive

#562674 Fri, 05 Sep 08 04:44 AM

Hi,
I was needing some help with this sentence:

Another of his well used poetic devices is alliteration, describing the outcome of the storm, becoming, “smooth and streamlined.”

I don't know whether or not I need all of the commas or if there is another symbol I need to add to the sentence in place of a comma.

I'd make a few changes to how this is written, as follows.
Another of his well-used poetic devices is alliteration, describing the outcome of the storm as “smooth and streamlined.”

Best wishes, Clive.

Clive