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Sentence strucutre

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Awence  #488306  Thu, 13 Mar 08 06:59 AM

Can somebody please examine this sentence for me. I feel it is hanging.

For the building of the wall spanned the various dynasties, and each of these dynasties somehow contributed to the refurbishing and the construction of a wall, whose foundations had been laid many centuries ago.
  
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Cool Breeze  #488368  Thu, 13 Mar 08 09:55 AM
Hi Awence

The sentence is less than perfect to me as well. It begins with a subordinate clause introduced with a causal for and the next clause begins with and, a coordinating conjunction. After these comes yet another subordinate clause, a relative clause introduced by whose. There is no main clause in the sentence!

What's more, if the speaker wants to use an indefinite article (a) with wall before the relative clause, the comma should be omitted. Using a is justified by the relative clause, though. The simplest way to make the sentence acceptable would be to leave out for at the beginning, which would render the first clause a main clause.

CB 

  
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Awence  #489147  Sat, 15 Mar 08 08:00 AM
Thanks, that is what i think too.
  
Marius Hancu  #489183  Sat, 15 Mar 08 11:07 AM
I could see the sentence work only after something like this:

No, I think you're wrong, this wall wasn't built by a single dynasty. For [offering a motivation why I feel your argument is wrong] the building of the wall spanned several dynasties, and each of these dynasties somehow contributed to the refurbishing and the construction of a wall, whose foundations had been laid many centuries ago.

  
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