Anonymous  +  153581 Mon, 31 Oct 05 05:37 PM I come from the generation of the 80's and 90's and where I live people were conservative. My children are entering puberty and I seek your views regarding the topic, if these issues arise. Many thanks in advance. Anonymous

	nona the brit  +  153599 Mon, 31 Oct 05 06:26 PM Well I also come from the generation of the 80s and 90s (but clearly a different area) and we were rioting in the streets, boozing, taking drugs including the newly discovered E's, going to illegal raves, and doing lots of what comes naturally (1). Everyone I know, survived. Teenagers are meant to kick it up a bit, in my opinion. (1) Disclaimer. Nona the Brit may or may not have personally indulged in any or all of these activities. nona the brit Joined on Wed, Sep 22 2004 England Veteran Member 11,713 The name says it all.

	Beemer  +  153611 Mon, 31 Oct 05 07:22 PM Anon, I think it's a question of 'when', not of 'if'.  But, don't wait too long for your kids to ask about these things because they're already exposed to them, at least in the talking stage. My advice is to open everything up for discussion, and I mean everything. Be candid and objective, don't over-dramatize or over-moralize. Tell them what you think and what you expect.   Beemer Joined on Mon, Oct 24 2005 New Member 38

	nona the brit  +  153853 Tue, 01 Nov 05 11:51 AM Just talk to them about stuff if you can do it in a non-cringe making way. Get your facts straight. They will encounter these things and will probably know a lot more than you do about them, so get independent information. If you start talking what they either know or just perceive as rubbish (i.e. smoke one spliff and end up adicted to heroin!) they will ignore everything you say. So on the drugs issue, look at some official governmental info (the 'ask Frank' government campaign in the UK is very good) and don't get hysterical about it. It will also help you find out how to look for signs of drug use but again, really really be careful and don't get carried away and the majority of teenagers act like that with parents anyway (moody, secretive, mood swings etc). On the sexual side, I guess that maybe your beliefs are that pre-marital sex is wrong and there is certainly nothing wrong with imparting that to you children. Be realistic at the same time though and recognise that they may not share this belief, so make sure they understand about contraception and safe sex and make it a subject that they can talk to you about, rather than something they have to keep hidden from you. nona the brit

	Stanewich  +  154991 Fri, 04 Nov 05 03:11 AM One thing that I believe every parent should do is inform their children about what to do if the abstinence that is taught in public schools doesn't work for them.  Safe (well, safer) sex is always better than unprotected sex.  Talk about condoms, where to get them, how to use them, why you should use them, and then if/when the teen/young adult decides to have sex, they'll be smart about it. Stanewich Joined on Fri, Nov 4 2005 Tucson, Arizona New Member 06