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Hi guys

Another simple composition for Primary 1 students. Could someone please edit this short composition for me. Thank you very much. Happy New Year.

My name is Wen Xu. I am seven years old. I am a tall and thin boy. There are four people in my family. They are my parents, my brother and me.

I go to Westlake Primary School. I am in Primary 2. My favourite subject is English. I always do well in the English examinations.

I want to be a doctor when I grow up. That is why I am studying very hard.

Veteran Member8,073
My name is Wen Xu, I am seven years old. I am a lanky boy. We are four in my family: my parents, my brother and I.
I go to Westlake Primary School. I am in Primary 2. My favourite subject is English. I always do well in the English examinations.

I want to be a doctor when I grow up. That is why I am studying very hard.
Senior Member2,552
Maybe I would write this : "There are four people in my family : my parents, my brother and me."

It's just to avoid a lot of short sentences and a kind of interrupted speech.

Edit : too slow... And I forgot "and I"... Thanks ^_^
New Member05
Hi Incho

Many thanks for editing my composition.

Happy New Year.
Yoong LiatHi Incho

Many thanks for editing my composition.

Happy New Year.
Hello Yong

Do not accelerate the inexorable advance of time, please Emotion: smile
New year is 5 days from now.Emotion: crying
HNY to you too[<:o)][D]
Hello Incho

I wish you Happy New Year now in case I've no chance to wish you on the eve of the new year.
Although we have different opinions at times, we still are cyber friends. From Goodman a New Year wish to all. Have a very smooth sailing and properous year in 2007.

Just a comment from me. As Liat had indicated, this is the work of a primary 1 student. I think he is as good as can be for his age as an ELS student. So profound and difficult words should not be even considered IMO.

Of course it can be improved however.

My name is Wen Xu. I am a tall and skinny seven- year- old boy. There are four people in my family, who are my parents, my brother and me.

I am attending Westlake Primary School in second grade. My favourite subject is English for which I always do well in examinations.

I want to be a doctor when I grow up. That is why I am studying very hard.
Senior Member3,816
Hi Goodman

Thanks for your constructive comments.

Happy New Year to you and all the other members.
Hi there,

Is it correct to write, 'We are four in my family' to mean 'There are four members in my family'?

How about 'I have four family members'?

Simon
Full Member143
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