short composition

Yoong Liat wrote:

Hi guys Another short composition for 1st-year students. Could somene please edit it for me. Thank you in advance.            Ivy was returning home from school. On her way, she saw a puppy in the drain. She picked it up (from the drain). It was shivering. Ivy believed it was shivering because it was very hungry.          Ivy took it home and gave it a warm bath. Then she gave it some milk. It lapped up the milk quickly. She loved the puppy very much because it looked cute. She asked her parents whether she could keep it as a pet. His if Ivy's a girl, then it's "her" parents agreed.             Ivy was very happy. She kissed her parents. She asked her mother what she should name the puppy. Her mother suggested that she called it Lucky. Ivy said, “I like the name. Thanks, Mum.”             It was It's indeed lucky that Lucky has found a (new) home.

That's my try...

Yoong Liat wrote:

Hi guys Another short composition for 1st-year students. Could someone please edit it for me. Thank you in advance.            Ivy was returning home from school. On the way, she saw a puppy in the drain. She carried it up. It was shivering. Ivy believed that it was shivering because it was very hungry and thirsty.          She took it home and gave it a warm bath. Then she gave it some milk. It lapped up the milk quickly. After that, she went to buy a packet of dog's food and fed the puppy with it gave it to the puppy . She loved the puppy very much because it looked cute. She asked her parents whether she could keep it as a pet. His parents agreed.             Ivy was very happy. She kissed her parents. She asked her mother what she should name the puppy. Her mother suggested that she call it Lucky. Ivy said, “I like the name. Thanks, Mum.”             It was indeed lucky that Lucky has found a new home.

Here's my new try