My short essay about LOVE need correction

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chuenwing  #482981  Fri, 29 Feb 08 02:38 AM

            In the past, parents arranged marriages were very common. Usually young people would have their spouse decided by their parents. Nowadays in the modern period, this tradition still exists in some of the family in the world. However, I totally disagree that parents should choose the person for their children to marry.

First, I think that everyone can choose to get married with whoever they love. When I was a college student, one of my friends told me that he would get married with a girl when he grown older. However, he said he has not even seen that girl yet. Few years later, I met him in a bus, and he said he already divorced with that girl because of the different personal characteristics. He said he likes the outdoor activities when he has free time, but his ex-wife likes to stay at home. After one year, they both found that they didn’t really like each other and there were a lot of emotional issues, so they divorced. Not only it increases the divorced rate, but also it hurts both of them.
Second, it is so cruel to get married with someone who is not your true lover. Love is the strongest and deepest element in all life. After the wedding, the spouses have to face and overcome lots of the problems together. Even though the problem is so big, they would try to overcome it with no doubt. I believe a marriage is worth resolving and keeping the marriage if the marriage can continue in a true, open, honest, caring and sharing direction. On the other hand, I don’t think I can overcome the problems if my wife is not my true lover.
Finally, love is a kind of magic. It is not the magic about playing poker, it is also not the magic about taking a rabbit from a black hat, but it is the magic of love which should be create by the real couple. By decreasing the divorced rate and making the world more beautiful, we should get rid of the traditional marriage and say “no” to the matchmaker.
  
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chuenwing  #483015  Fri, 29 Feb 08 04:34 AM

Here's a new version that I have corrected recently.
Is there still any problem?

In the past, parent-arranged marriages were very common. Usually young people would have their spouse decided by their parents. Nowadays in the modern period, this tradition still exists in some of the families in the world. However, I don’t agree the tradition that parents should choose the person for their children to marry.First, I think that everyone should choose to get married with whoever they love. When I was a high school student, one of my friends told me that he would get married with a girl when he grows older. However, he said he has not even seen that girl yet. After few years later, I met him on a bus, and he said he already divorce that girl because of different personal characteristics. He said he likes outdoor activities when he has free time, but his ex-wife likes to stay at home. After one year, they both found that they didn’t really like each other and there were a lot of emotional issues, so they divorced. Not only parent-arranged marriage increases the divorce rate, but also it hurts both of them.Second, it is so cruel to get married with someone who is not your true love. Love is the strongest and deepest element in all life. After the wedding, the spouses have to face and overcome lots of problems together. Although a problem is big, they would try to overcome it. I believe a marriage is worth resolving and keeping the marriage if the marriage can continue in a true, open, honest, caring and sharing direction. On the other hand, I don’t think I can overcome the problems if my wife is not my true love.Finally, love is a kind of magic. It is not the magic like playing poker, it is also not the magic like taking a rabbit from a black hat, but it is the magic of love which should be created by a real couple. By decreasing the divorce rate and making the world more beautiful, we should get rid of the traditional marriage and say “no” to the matchmaker.

 

  
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