short paragraph on superstitions in my city

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Hello readers!!!

I would like comments on asthetic beauty. Of course, grammar is always welcome!

So here is my paragraph:

Superstitions in My City

Superstitions can be found everywhere. However, in my town there are only a few. If a black cat shows up for someone, it is thought that a bad thing might happen at night. If a bird flies from left to right, a journey may be canceled. If a little unhappy incident occurs, it is taken as a bad omen for something in the future. A crow crowing on the top of one’s home is a very common superstition that forebodes a misfortune. An owl, usually having an ugly face, also gives a sense of foreboding.

You could respond to the following questions if you wish or comment on other things I have not had in mind!!!

1- What do you think of my topic sentence being the second after a short introducotry sentence?

2- What do you think of the end of the paragraph? Do I need to sum up the paragraph by saying, for example, "Thus, as you can see my town has a few superstitions just like most places in the world."
Full Member246
Asthetic beauty? :-s

You need to be more specific on what the incidents forebode (e.g. the one about the bird is fairly specific). You may also end with one that is more significant/interesting than the others. I also suggest you end the paragraph with a sentence that leads to whatever you're introducing in the essay, though I don't recommend the one you mentioned.
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Hi Julielai!

I agree with your comments. Yes, I think the setnece with the owl giving a sense of forboding is not specific.

I also agree that the sentence suggested as a conclusion is not very good, and that the paragraph is better off with an excellent more interesting example of a superstition being the last sentence.

Thanks!
Anonymous:
i am not agree
Anonymous:
CAN I HAVE A SHORT PARAGRAPH ON ESSAY..... And of course yours was nice......
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