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I would like comments on asthetic beauty. Of course, grammar is always welcome!
So here is my paragraph:
Superstitions in My City
Superstitions can be found everywhere. However, in my town there are only a few. If a black cat shows up for someone, it is thought that a bad thing might happen at night. If a bird flies from left to right, a journey may be canceled. If a little unhappy incident occurs, it is taken as a bad omen for something in the future. A crow crowing on the top of one’s home is a very common superstition that forebodes a misfortune. An owl, usually having an ugly face, also gives a sense of foreboding.
You could respond to the following questions if you wish or comment on other things I have not had in mind!!!
1- What do you think of my topic sentence being the second after a short introducotry sentence?
2- What do you think of the end of the paragraph? Do I need to sum up the paragraph by saying, for example, "Thus, as you can see my town has a few superstitions just like most places in the world."
You need to be more specific on what the incidents forebode (e.g. the one about the bird is fairly specific). You may also end with one that is more significant/interesting than the others. I also suggest you end the paragraph with a sentence that leads to whatever you're introducing in the essay, though I don't recommend the one you mentioned.
I agree with your comments. Yes, I think the setnece with the owl giving a sense of forboding is not specific.
I also agree that the sentence suggested as a conclusion is not very good, and that the paragraph is better off with an excellent more interesting example of a superstition being the last sentence.
Anonymous:i am not agree
Anonymous:CAN I HAVE A SHORT PARAGRAPH ON ESSAY..... And of course yours was nice......
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