Help me!! short pharagraphs~!! Thanks in advance!!!!

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Bigpie  #424573  Fri, 28 Sep 07 01:33 AM

Apart from the love, my life had always reminded me of reality, so standing on my own two feet was not an option, but a destiny.

 

Since 15, I had worked many kinds of part time jobs such as delivering news papers in dawn, washing dishes in restaurants and even labor working at the construction site on weekends until I was graduated from High School.    ///

 

Even if I passed the English proficiency test, that was nothing but a basic test for the study. While I was working and studying simultaneously, writing tens of thousands words in every month for assignments was almost killing me.

 

********PLEASE CHECK MY WRITING******* AND GIVE ME YOUR MARK! VERY BAD/BAD/NOT BAD/GOOD...

THANKS A LOT!!

  
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Mister Micawber  #424666  Fri, 28 Sep 07 07:43 AM

Apart from love, my life had always reminded me of reality, so standing on my own two feet was not an option but my destiny.

Since 15, I had worked at many kinds of part time jobs, such as delivering newspapers at dawn, washing dishes in restaurants and even laboring at construction sites on weekends, until I graduated from high school.

Even if I passed the English proficiency test, that was nothing but a basic test for English study.  I was working and studying simultaneously, and writing tens of thousands of words every month for assignments was almost killing me.


MARKS:
Grammar & Structure - NOT BAD
Expression - GOOD
Cohesion - NOT SO GOOD

  
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