I have read most of the posts in this thread.
In some sense, the Taiwan problem, to China, is more or less a question of national prestige and that is why China can wait, maybe for the proper time to conduct any practical actions toward the problem.
At this juncture of maturization, any Sino-American war is surely unwelcome, because, given Chinese military capacity of today, any war between the U.S. and China is most likely to be a nuclear one.
Some Taiwanese are indulged in their 'higher living standard' and 'better economic situation' and 'democratic regime'. Well, what they possess now, as they themselves confess, has much to do with the trade, and support from China, the People's Republic of. And why does China bother to do all these? Obivously, China assumes that Taiwan is its province. Imagine the best scenario should Taiwan be an independent country (though this is very unlikely to happen in real life), will it enjoy the comfort of its international identity with a super power angrily sitting around even if China does not use any military means?