Hello there. Let me introduce myself first.
I'm an Asian-American who went to South Korea one month after I was born in the U.S. Then I came back 5 years ago when I was a high school freshman, so I had to learn English from scratch. For the first few months my English improved pretty well, but I hadn't made any close friend and things started going bad. I became more and more shy and was eventually diagnosed with social anxiety one year later. During my high school years I only made some acquaintances and rarely hung out with anyone. I slowly developed depression as well and once attempted suicide by taking 60 sleeping pills.
Fortunately I was still able to keep the GPA and SAT scores high enough to get into a moderate college(GA Tech). My parents and relatives kept telling me life in college campus is way better than high school life despite academic pressure and told me to rest assured everything will get better.
They couldn't be more wrong.
My anxiety was so bad at that point that I could barely breathe and my whole body became stiff wherever I could see someone or vice versa. And I had to walk around buildings and streets filled with hundreds of people everyday. Even in my dorm room I couldn't relax because I had a roommate. I got so depressed during the first week I just had to hide somewhere and cry, yet there was nowhere to. I also began to have difficulty concentrating, and it took me 5 minutes to read ONE page. On top of that my English skills were about the same as back when I was a high school freshman for the obvious reason(except grammar), so I got F's on every essay for English. After a month I lost my motivation to study and failed in other classes as well.
I eventually decided to withdraw from school and concentrate on treating social anxiety and improving English at home for the following semester. However, I've already been on therapy on medications for years and tried my best to get out of social anxiety. There's gotta be at least some improvement to keep me trying. So I've been wasting my life doing nothing but websurfing and sleeping at home this entire semester. Now it's time to go back, and my English and social anxiety got even worse.(I probably spoke to someone in English thirty times or so for the last 6 months)
Well, that's my story. Just venting here...I didn't really mean to write this for advice(I've already asked for help to so many people), but I'd appreciate it.
(By the way, you might be thinking my writing skills aren't so bad. Trust me, it is terrible. It's just that for some reason my first post on a forum is always the best. Plus, it takes me hours to write a post this long.)