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Anonymous

#511442 Fri, 09 May 08 01:10 AM

How to address people in letter if you do not know their sex? Any suggestion?

Anonymous

Clive

#511482 Fri, 09 May 08 04:59 AM

Hi,

First, please tell us whether you know the person's name.

Clive

Joined on Thu, Oct 28 2004

Canada

Veteran Member (19,499)

El tango argentino es un pensamiento triste que se puede bailar (The tango argentino is a sad thought which can be danced) Enrique Santos Discépolo

New2grammar

#511537 Fri, 09 May 08 08:42 AM

Let's say Jordan or Riley

New2grammar

Joined on Tue, Nov 21 2006

Veteran Member (6,930)

Who wants to go sailing around the world with me?

Feebs11

#511595 Fri, 09 May 08 12:02 PM

To be honest, when faced with this dilemma in business, I either phoned the company concerned and asked the switchboard or receptionist, or addressed the letter to "Mr" - if that was wrong, you soon found out.

Feebs11

Joined on Thu, Nov 23 2006

Senior Member (4,660)

nona the brit

#511629 Fri, 09 May 08 01:28 PM

If you know their first name it isn't a problem. You just write

Dear Jordan Surname,

blah blah

nona the brit

Joined on Wed, Sep 22 2004

England

Veteran Member (11,209)

The name says it all.

New2grammar

#511637 Fri, 09 May 08 01:51 PM

That's so true! Why didn't I think of that? I guess I was so focused on the title that I forgot we could just aaddress the person by his/her name.

New2grammar

badegine

#511671 Fri, 09 May 08 03:19 PM

Grossly informal for most things, however.

Formal letter writing should always be addressed 'Dear Sir' in such cases of ambiguity - not even 'Dear Sir/Madam'.

Gender equality might be a quaint philosophy to live by, but it doesn't hold up in the archaic world or written etiquette. And, I'm afraid, it's not really a 'choice', either...far too much of a liberal phenomenon.

Cast any feminism you might have stored up aside and - for letter writing, at least - check your Debrett's.

Smile

badegine

Joined on Thu, May 8 2008

New Member (21)

Formal letter, Formal letters, Genders, Letter writing

nona the brit

#511681 Fri, 09 May 08 03:34 PM

Modern business practise has moved on rather - as you say yourself these 'rules' are part of the 'archaic world'.

Most modern business advice is that it is acceptable to use names and it is not grossly informal. Likewise, 'Sir/Madam' is 100% acceptable these days.

I wouldn't say that Debrett's is a guide to the modern business world.

Etiquette is about making rules to enable people to be polite to each other and have good manners. Most people now consider It is more polite to use someone's name if you know it. Having said that, there are still circumstances where I would also use 'Dear Sir'.

This is an issue upon which there is much debate!

So, do what you feel is appropriate for the cirumstances.

nona the brit

badegine

#511788 Fri, 09 May 08 10:05 PM

I absolutely agree, but - for a learner who probably doesn't have a fine understanding of nuance - perhaps it's always better to err on the side of over-formality?

Personally I'd always do that anyway myself: there's something very British about writing in such an 'of the Establishment' fashion. Lletters, as a dying literary form, should retain as much tradition as we can pack into them, I feel.

But it's all subjective. Do what you feel is appropriate.

[Oh, and I'll still advocate Debrett's! It might not be perfect for all modern businesses, but following its advice wouldn't be a bad thing for most. Aside from that - on a domestic level - it can often be invaluable. Just a thought.]

badegine

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