Someone help me check this letter please

This is a discussion thread · 3 replies
Dear Sir or Madam:
At first, three delegates’ photoes will be sent by attachment, in order to make ID card for this meeting, we expect you can check it on time, if you have any trouble to open this files, please contact us ASAP. By the way other delegates will contact you themselves.
Fortunately, we already received your Invitation letters for 7 delegates of the meeting, however, one of them had a mistake, which does not match correctly between delegate’s name and her company title. Could you please send us a new Invitation letter for *** again.
Finally, we had fax registration forms, if you received them, please e-mail us and let us know whether everthing is on track, especially about room reservation for the meeting.
Expect to hear from you soon
Thank you for your cooperation and patience.

Yours sincerely
New Member06
Dear Sir or Mdm,
We have sent you three delegates' photos for making pass to attend this meeting by attachment. Other delegates will contact you themselves. Please check the photos on time. If you have any trouble to open these files, contact us ASAP.
All the seven delegates of us have received your invitation letters, however, there's some mistake for one of us. The delegate's name and company title don't match those in the letter. Could you please send him a new invitation letter?
We have also faxed you our registration forms. Please email us and let us know once you receive them. And please check to make sure everthing is correct, especially about room reservation for the meeting.
I look forward to hear from you soon. Thank you very much for your cooperation and patience.

Yours sincerely
New Member39
Hi friend, please notice these things:
1 I’ve used short sentences
2 I give precise information about details
3 notice that I’ve used headings after Dear Sir/Madam so that the subject of the letter is easy to see
4 best to find out and use the name of the manager responsible for arranging your conference
5 use yours faithfully if you begin Dear Sir/Madam or else use yours sincerely if you write to a person you know.
6 give full contact details for yourself if you are the contact person for the seven delegates.

Here is the way I’d write your letter.

Wu

Dear Sir/Madam,

[company name
[meeting name]]
Meeting, October ??, 2003 at Emotion: time

We have sent you three attachments. Each attachment contains a photograph of one of our delegates. Please use the photographs to make identification passes. The passes are needed for use in a meeting.
Other delegates will contact you independently but they should all provide you with a photograph for the same purpose. It’s important that you check each photograph so that it is suitable for creating an ID pass. Please contact me quickly if you have any problems opening the files.
Please note that you have made a clerical error regarding the address information for one of our delegates. Seven letters have been received but the information contained in one letter is incorrect.
[You should name the delegate and provide the correct information for the people creating the ID passes]
Please make a note of the correct information and forward an amended letter.
We have faxed our registration forms to you. Please acknowledge receipt of the forms and indicate that our forms are clear and complete. Furthermore, please confirm than the room we require for the meeting is booked and that all other arrangements regarding equipment and other facilities are recorded correctly.

Yours faithfully

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Full Member150
thank you everyone, who give precious advice for my grammer, it is very useful.
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