Statement of Purpose

Hi,
I have to write for my university a motivation letter, but I don't know if the grammar is correct. Can you please give your own feedback?

Dear Sir or Madam,
with this letter, I try to make sure, why a study visit abroad in the United States of America is for my personal further development an important step.
When I am nearly half a year far away from my familiar everyday life and from known persons, it’s an alteration, by for every people, who have had already this experience it was a gain, which they won’t miss.
In America I have contact with other people, customs and cultures, which can improve my life experience. I am in direct contact with students from different countries to exchange views on technical and cultural matters. I can compare different cultures and set parallels. The USA has political and societal an unprecedented position and aura, which I can only fell, when I am in this country. I notice explicit, how other people think and fell and I will learn therewith in working life better to make toward other people.
English is the most important universal language and in future by the forge ahead globalization it will gain even more importance. The governing of the English language verbal and written will be nowadays, from every international acting company, as skill preconditioned. This language is particularly to mechanical engineering an essential part, because calculation programs and design programs are partly only in English available. The business fluent knowledge of the English language is for me indispensable.
I have made during my school days language study travels to England and Malta, but these language study travels aren’t comparable with the duration of two terms at a study at Calpoly University. For my life it’s also helpful, when I can handle not only the English from school in word and in writing, but also can communicate with native speakers.
Also for the subsequent occupational career a study visit in America is very useful. When I have to go in future during working life abroad, it’s clearly easier for me, when I have been spend time abroad. I get an acquaintance of the language, which I only can win abroad.

The public university which is one of the oldest existing universities in the California State University system is best known for its engineering and it proffers an excellent training. Also has the university a large endowment which I as student can only profit. I can attend at the Calpoly University lectures, which aren’t provided at the Munich University of Applied Sciences at this extent.
But not only the study at the Calpoly University is a huge expansion of my horizon, but also the planning, my own initiative. From organizational matters at the candidacy to the house hunting in San Luis Obispo, I have to follow up with America and with the Calpoly University. I have to manage everyday life and so I become still flexible.

You can see a study in the USA is an enrichment of my live and a profit, which I will do without fail during my study. My own personality will be shaped intensive and my knowledge of the English language will be improved relevant. I hope this writing makes clear, that a study at Calpoly University means a lot to me.

Yours faithfully,

I have corrected the letter in some points.

Dear Sir or Madam,

With this letter, I hope to clarify why studying abroad in the United States of America is an important step for furthering my personal development.
In America, I will have contact with other people, customs and cultures, which my life can only benefit from. I will be in direct contact with students from various nations to exchange views on technical and cultural matters. I will be able to make comparisons between different cultures and point out parallels. The USA has, politically and societally, an unprecedented position and aura, which I can only fell when I am in the country. I will directly see how other people think and fell, and I will learn while working to make life better for other people. This will enhance my qualifications.
When I am far away from my familiar, everyday life and from the people I know for nearly half a year, it will be a large change, but everyone who has already undergone this experience has benefited from it in ways he would not want to do without.
English is the most important universal language and in the future as globalization forges ahead, it will gain even more importance. An understanding of the English language in writing and speaking will be, nowadays, a required skill in international corporations. This language is particularly essential in mechanical engineering, because calculation programs and design programs are sometimes only available in English. Fluency in business English is, for me, indispensable.
I have done, when I was still in school, language study travels to England and Malta, but these travels aren’t comparable with two terms of study at Calpoly University. For my life it will also be helpful, when I can handle not only English in school in reading and in writing, but also communicate with native speakers.
Also, for the subsequent occupational career, studying in America is very useful. When, in the future, I have to go overseas for my work, it will clearly be easier for me, if I have already spent time abroad. I will get better acquaintance with the language, which can only be done in the country.
This public university, which is one of the oldest existing universities in the California State University system, is best known for its engineering program and proffers excellent training. The university also has a large endowment, which I as a student can profit from. I can attend the Calpoly University lectures, which aren’t provided at the Munich University of Applied Sciences at this extent. This will deepen my knowledge even further.

But not only is studying at the Calpoly University a huge expansion of my horizon, but also of my planning skills, and my own initiative. From organizational matters of candidacy, to hunting for a house in San Luis Obispo, I have had to follow up with the America lifestyle and with Calpoly University. I have to manage everyday life and so I become still flexible.

You can see how a study in the USA is an enrichment of my live and something to be profited from, which I will take advantage of without fail during my study. My own personality will be shaped intensive and my knowledge of the English language will be relevantly improved. I hope this writing makes it clear why studying at Calpoly University means a lot to me.

Yours faithfully,