I'm not sure if there is any prescriptive rule to what I read in a statement as follows:
...after all these years, I asked him if he remembered who I was.
The sentence sounded okay to me, but I was also confused as to whether the subjunctive should be at play here and if the past tense of remember is used correctly in a semantic way.
Semantically, remembering someone is a present state of consciousness and a continuous action. Therefore, one should ask if someone "remembers" you (e.g. I wonder if he remembers me), but not "remembered" you unless it is explicitly describing an instance where you were once "remembered" but now possibly forgotten (e.g. He remembered me yesterday, how can he forget who I am today?). I don't know if this interpretation is valid and if it should be a consideration at all.
Grammatically, subjunctive may be used for subjective, doubtful, hypothetical, or grammatically subordinate statements or questions, as occurring in subordinate that clauses after a main clause expressing recommendation, resolution, demand. In my sample sentence, does its subordinate if-statement in the hypothetical "if he remember..." and the main clause expressing question/demand in "I asked him..." qualify for the subjuntive tense?
I thought about rewriting that sentence into: I asked him if he remember who I am.
However, the verb agreement rule seems to reject such a revision.
Please help clarify. Also, which one(s) of the following is/are correct:
1- I wonder if he remembers me. vs. I wonder if he remember me. (Should here be a subjunctive?)
2- Two days ago, he remembered whom I was. vs. Two days ago, he remembered whom I am. (Suggesting that the object "I" is the same person, in all respect, now as he was then two days ago. Is this okay?)
3- He remembers who I am. vs. He remembers whom I am. (who or whom in the dative position when using "to remember"?)
Thank you so much!