Tenses

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New2grammar  #498189  Tue, 08 Apr 08 06:05 PM

I've been married for 16 months and separated for 10 of those months. The reason for the separation is because my husband thinks my kids, from my previous marriage, 13 and 10, will never learn to behave. I had been a single mother for 7 years and worked 2-3 jobs before I met my husband. So, I admit my kids are lacking manners. I believe the problem stemmed from him not communicating with the kids. He completely ignored them and the only time he spoke to them was when he was correcting them. Of course the kids resent him.

Could you please check the tenses. I remember clearly my grammar teacher told us to stick to one tense as much as possible but I find it difficult. Maybe I'm still poor at tenses. Please help.

Thanks in advance!

  
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Grammar Geek  #498195  Tue, 08 Apr 08 06:18 PM

This is hard one because it moves around from what IS the case to what happened in the past. If she has been seperated for 10 months, we can assume the husband's interaction wtih the kids is now over. But perhaps they are still hoping to work it out. It could go two ways:

I've been married for 16 months and separated for 10 of those months. The reason for the separation is because my husband thinks my kids, from my previous marriage, 13 and 10, will never learn to behave. I had been a single mother for 7 years and worked 2-3 jobs before I met my husband. So, I admit my kids are lacking manners. I believe the problem stems from him not communicating with the kids. He completely ignores them and the only time he speaks to them is when he is correcting them. Of course the kids resent him. This keeps the issues in the present.

I've been married for 16 months and separated for 10 of those months. The reason for the separation is because my husband thought my kids, from my previous marriage, 13 and 10, will never learn to behave. I had been a single mother for 7 years and worked 2-3 jobs before I met my husband. So, I admit my kids are lacking manners. I believe the problem stemmed from him not communicating with the kids. He completely ignored them and the only time he spoke to them was when he was correcting them. Of course the kids resented him. This says is all in the past

In fact, it's probably a mixture of both - they are still trying to solve the problem so some elements are past and some are present.Maybe he still thinks, and they still resent, but his communication with them is past.

(PS - Don't use "the reason... is because.")

 

  
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New2grammar  #498405  Wed, 09 Apr 08 10:34 AM

 

In fact, it's probably a mixture of both - they are still trying to solve the problem so some elements are past and some are present.Maybe he still thinks, and they still resent, but his communication with them is past.

GG, thanks for the reply. I like this comment of yours because that's what I think too. For example, the feeling 'resent' may still persist even though the communication is past. So I believe the past tense version probably can use the present tense 'resent' to emphasize their continuing feelings toward their step father. Learners are advised to stick to one tense and I probably understand why- It's easier to follow and sounds more formal. However, native speakers don't speak in one tense and maybe that's the reason you sound pretentious or too formal in a casual conversation if you speak in that manner. Of course this is the least I should worry about as I still have other major grammatical problems to fix.

Thanks for the reply, GG. It helps me understand grammar better.

  
Grammar Geek  #498496  Wed, 09 Apr 08 01:56 PM

New2grammar

Of course this is the least I should worry about as I still have other major grammatical problems to fix.

Not from where I'm looking!

  
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