The effects of illiteracy in a society

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Anonymous:
In a recent study, conducted by the WSI (World Statistics Institute) shows that there is an increasing number of illiterates globally. 27% of the world is illiterate and that 27% has had a strong and terrible impact on our society. There are many effects of illiteracy and not a day goes by that we don't see it and regret it, the more knowledge we can obtain is helpful so we can learn to advance as a society.
The most important effect illiteracy has on our society is that it is holding us back; the more illiterate people that make up a country the more, undeveloped it is. For example in a country well developed like United States, the illiteracy rate is below 5%, while in countries undeveloped such as Turkey its illiteracy rate is 61%. And as a result not only is the society affected but so are the people residing in Turkey, more illiterate people means less doctors and healthcare, lawyers and laws, and most importantly less schools and education.
It's bad enough as it is to have illiterate people affecting our society, now just think about how our children's society's going to be affected. See, an illiterate person is born and resides illiterate their whole life and during their lifetime their education choice affects their children's education choice. Most parents discourage the thought of having their kids grow up illiterate, but when children look at their parents (role models) they see how their parents have turned out illiterate and live to adopt the idea of being illiterate, viewing it as not such a bad idea. The rate of illiteracy has ascended to 32%, imagine if this rate proceeds from now on to your children's time then society won't be as advanced in the future, we'll have to experience situations in the near future that we probably would not be able to solve due to the fact that everyone around us will be illiterate. Illiteracy has not only affected our time, but it will have affected our children and our grandchildren's lives.
Illiterate people have seemed to harm our society, their children's society and now themselves. In a world were we've gone from using horses, to carriages, to boats, to automobiles, to airplanes, we develop and advance little by little. During the 19th century, the idea of robots, computers, cell phones and other electronics would have been unheard of, the jobs our ancestors had back ago would have been extinct by now. Like take for example factories and cotton picking, instead of using human labor for these kind of jobs we now depend on machines and robots. So what if, the human race proceeds to advance and more opportunities and options are found for our society. Like fro example what if there was some type of technology scientist devolved to have a mess cleaned up on its own, made on its own, then we wouldn't need busboys, maids, or butlers. So that percentage of maids and butlers who lack education must need something to fall back on now that their career is over and since their illiterate what other options do they have. It's important to have an education to fall back on because you never know what your life outcome might be. You may work for a construction company, but get injured and quit work, but have no education to fall back on so you're unable to provide for your family.
There are many possible outcomes illiterate people may have to face in life, but having an education is having some type of security to fall back on or to depend on , when life hits you hard. The reader can observe that the illiteracy rate in undeveloped countries is very high and the speed at which it ascends is even higher, having an education is more important than anything else in the world, once you are literate, than you are secure. The many solutions we can provide for illiteracy is introducing better, motivated, and qualified teachers, lower pupil-teacher ratio, more parents involvement in their child's education, and less examination-orientated syllabus giving children an advantage to keep up at their own pace. In cases were illiteracy is high in undeveloped countries, there is always something we are able to do. We are able to stop child labor and let children get an education and not only children Government of undeveloped countries should encourage old people as well to take interest in an education.
Hi,
This is very long, so I've just looked at the first two paragraphs.

Your writing is pretty good, but you can improve it. Please ask about any of these edits you don't understand.

Clive

In a recent study, conducted by the WSI (World Statistics Institute) shows that there is an increasing number of illiterates globally. 27% of the world is illiterate and that 27% has had a strong and terrible impact on our society. There are many effects of illiteracy and not a day goes by that we don't see it and regret it, the more knowledge we can obtain is helpful so we can learn to advance as a society.
The most important effect illiteracy has on our society is that it is holding us back; the more illiterate people that make up a country the more, undeveloped it is. For example in a country well developed like United States, the illiteracy rate is below 5%, while in countries undeveloped such as Turkey its illiteracy rate is 61%. And as a result not only is the society affected but so are the people residing in Turkey, more illiterate people means less doctors and healthcare, lawyers and laws, and most importantly less schools and education.

In A recent study no comma conducted by the WSI (World Statistics Institute) shows that there is an increasing number of illiterates globally. 27% of the world is illiterate and that 27% has had a strong and terrible impact on our society. There are many effects of illiteracy and not a day goes by that we do not see it and regret it. The more knowledge we can obtain, the more we can learn to advance as a society.

Try to avoid using first person words like 'we', 'our', 'us'. Use third person.
eg we do not see it it is not seen

The most important effect illiteracy has on our society is that it is holding us back; the more illiterate people that make up a country the more no comma undeveloped it is. For example comma in a well-developed country like the United States, the illiteracy rate is below 5%, while in undeveloped countries such as Turkey the its illiteracy rate is around 60%. And As a result comma not only is the society affected but so are the people residing in, for example, Turkey. More illiterate people means fewer less doctors and less healthcare, fewer lawyers and laws, and most importantly fewer schools and less education.
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