The joke festival

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Cristoval  #342158  Thu, 22 Mar 07 05:32 PM
I love this seccion, every time i can, i´ll post a new joke... here i go:

***
A man is talking to God.

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
***
Here is a good riddle to demonstrate the battle-between-the-sexes kind of jokes.

Q: Why did God create the man before he created the woman?
A1: The answer that men give: To give him the chance to enjoy Heaven on Earth for a few moments.
A2: The answer that women give: Everyone makes a draft first!
***
Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
***

see you later Big Smile [:D]
  
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Fleder_m@u_S  #342421  Fri, 23 Mar 07 09:35 AM
Thank you Cristoval. I've read them somewhere but still find them funny. Smile [:)]

Wellcome to the Englishforums.

  
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Who will believe in you if you don't believe in yourself?
Cristoval  #342690  Sat, 24 Mar 07 03:10 AM

some jokes could be very old... but it doesn´t matter, be happy again

Riddles of Alphabet

Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
A: B. (bee)

Q: What letter is a part of the head?
A: I. (eye)

Q: What letter is a drink?
A: T. (tea)

Q: What letter is a body of water?
A: C. (sea)

Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"?
A: The letter " I "

Q: What letter is a vegetable?
A: P. (pea)

Q: What letter is an exclamation?
A: O. (oh!)

Q: What letter is a European bird?
A: J. (Jay)

Q: What letter is looking for causes ?
A: Y. (why)

Q: What four letters frighten a thief?
A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)

Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?
A: The letter "m".

Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?
A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.

Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?
A: It can make "her" "hear.

Q: Which is the loudest vowel?
A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise

Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike?
A: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".

Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter?
A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".

Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?
A: Alphabet = (26 letters)

Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"?
A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".

Q: What is the end of everything?
A: The letter "g".

  
Flygonwings  #342692  Sat, 24 Mar 07 03:26 AM
Great jokes, where did you get them?
  
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"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." - Rudyard Kipling
Fleder_m@u_S  #342704  Sat, 24 Mar 07 04:22 AM
Interesting!
Some of them are used as riddles sometimes. Smile [:)]
Thank you, Cristoval.

  
Ben Chou  #345590  Sat, 31 Mar 07 05:40 AM

very nice..

thank you!

  
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The_legend  #346780  Tue, 03 Apr 07 02:29 PM
great ones.  Stick out tongue [:P]  & ThanX
  
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Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me Stick out tongue [:P]
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