In a recent post on one of these forums, there was some sidebar discussion about the usage of dear. Someone mentioned that they found the usage off-putting. I'm not sure I agree...the only time people call me dear seems to be waitresses, and then I feel young and somehow complimented.
Regarding "Sir", as an AmE speaker, I often find that form of address irritating. Even in initial contact, it puts a distance between people that doesn't exist before that. When reading it in forums here, it seems overly formal. In any letter addressed to Sir/madam, I can assume that the person doesn't know me, and hasn't even spent the time to research my gender. In a retail/restaurant setting the address seems perfectly fine.
Is there a way to convey the correct respect to someone without using that form of address?
What do other English speakers feel?