Are these grammatically correct?

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MonkeyBoy  #261798  Sat, 02 Sep 06 01:35 AM
Hey all. Before submitting my Halls of Residence application to a University, I would like to make sure that the following sentences are grammatically correct and flow well:

Section 4. What positions of responsibility do you hold and / or awards have you received at school?

In 2005, I am the Y12 Top Biology student. In 2006, I am the webpage coordinator for my house and I peer-tutor up to 7 students per week.

Sporting Interests and Comments
1. Badminton - Played for school under Grade C
2. Chees - Represented school for chess tournament
3. Jogging - A casual jogger
4. Swimming - Swim occasionally during the holidays
5. Cycling - Cycle regularly during the weekends

Cultural Interests and Comments
1. Music - Obtained Grade 5 in Practical and Grade 4 in Theory
2. Fo Guang Shan Temple - Aid in morning service every Sunday
3. Food Festival - Helped to serve food for Thai stall (2006)
4. Multicultural Festival - Helped to prepare food and participated in multicultural activities(2005)

Community Interests and Comments
1. Retirement Home - I have been helping out for the past few months. Tasks include serving breakfast and lunch, playing games with the residents and having conversation with them
2. Web Forum - An active member of Neowin computer forum (1891 posts)
3. World 40 Hour Famine - I abstained from technology products for 40 hours
4. Celcom Youth Ambassador - A youth ambassador for Celcom (Malaysia). I asssisted in educating 20 orphans about computers
5. Sports Day - I was a St. John member in Malaysia. I helped to treat those with minor injuries on that day.

That's all! Thank you very much.

  
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nona the brit  #261803  Sat, 02 Sep 06 02:03 AM
Section 4. What positions of responsibility do you hold and / or awards have you received at school?
In 2005, I was the Y12 Top Biology student. In 2006, I have been the webpage coordinator for my house and I peer-tutor up to 7 students per week.

Sporting Interests and Comments
1. Badminton - Played for school under Grade C
2. Chees - Represented school at a chess tournament
3. Jogging - A casual jogger
4. Swimming - Swim occasionally during the holidays
5. Cycling - Cycle regularly during the weekends

Cultural Interests and Comments
1. Music - Obtained Grade 5 in Practical and Grade 4 in Theory
2. Fo Guang Shan Temple - Aid in morning service every Sunday
3. Food Festival - Helped to serve food for Thai stall (2006)
4. Multicultural Festival - Helped to prepare food and participated in multicultural activities(2005)

Community Interests and Comments
1. Retirement Home - I have been helping out for the past few months. Tasks include serving breakfast and lunch, playing games with the residents and having conversations with them
2. Web Forum - An active member of Neowin computer forum (1891 posts)
3. World 40 Hour Famine - I abstained from technology products for 40 hours
4. Celcom Youth Ambassador - A youth ambassador for Celcom (Malaysia). I asssisted in educating 20 orphans about computers
5. Sports Day - I was a St. John member in Malaysia. I helped to treat those with minor injuries on that day.

  
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The name says it all.
MonkeyBoy  #261805  Sat, 02 Sep 06 02:27 AM
But... I thought I had put in "2005", meaning that the time has now been set to 2005, and therefore I should use present tense? Also, "I have been the webpage coordinator for my house" - uhm, what's wrong with "I am"?

Thank you very much!!!
  
MonkeyBoy  #261813  Sat, 02 Sep 06 04:17 AM
So uhm, is that all?

Cheers Smile [:)]
  
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