I have these sentences, can you help? thanks

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lynlu2000  #530759  Sun, 22 Jun 08 01:20 AM
Hi I am new to this site, if i am doing this wrong please correct me but i need your opinion and was so happy when i came upon this site. English is not my strong suit but i try and reason as you will see below.

Just what would you do, Cheryl, if the situation were reversed?
(Am I correct to say remove the comma before Cheryl?)

The new machine, which I haven't even learned to operate yet, is out of order.
(I think it is correctly punctuated and yet i think you should remove the comma after machine)

Did the Novelist Ernest Hemingway once live here?
(I am leaning toward Correctly punctuated, but still i think i should add a comma after Hemingway)

Queen Mary wanted her death to be remembered, therefore, she staged a pageant.
(I am thinking change the comma after remembered to a semicolon or should I just remove the comma)

A first class employee is: dependable, loyal, and efficient.
(I would add a hyphen after first as you use a colon after an independent clause when a series follow right?



 
  
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Clive  #530763  Sun, 22 Jun 08 01:37 AM
Hi,
Welcome to the Forum.
I am new to this site, if i am doing this wrong please correct me but i need your opinion and was so happy when i came upon this site. English is not my strong suit but i try and reason as you will see below.

Just what would you do, Cheryl, if the situation were reversed? This is correct as written.
(Am I correct to say remove the comma before Cheryl?)

The new machine, which I haven't even learned to operate yet, is out of order.
(I think it is correctly punctuated and yet i think you should remove the comma after machine)
Leave both commas  in if this is 'non-identifying' information.
take both commas out if it is 'identifying' information. eg
Question: Which machine?
Answer:The one which I haven't learned to operate yet. Not the one that I have learned to operate.

Did the Novelist Ernest Hemingway once live here? It's correct as written. Don't put a capital 'N'.,
(I am leaning toward Correctly punctuated, but still i think i should add a comma after Hemingway)

Queen Mary wanted her death to be remembered, therefore, she staged a pageant.
(I am thinking change the comma after remembered to a semicolon <<< Yes or should I just remove the comma)
I would replace the comma after 'remembered' with a period.

A first class employee is: dependable, loyal, and efficient.
(I would add a hyphen after first Yes. The adjective is 'first-class'.

as you use a colon after an independent clause when a series follow right? Just remove the colon. I'd also remove the comma after 'loyal'.

It's just a very short and simple sentence.A first-class employee is dependable, loyal and efficient.

Best wishes, Clive

  
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lynlu2000  #530770  Sun, 22 Jun 08 02:05 AM
Clive Thank you so much, this site is awesome.
  
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