Where are you publishing these things, bubu?
Bollywood Blockbusters
If there is one thing that is quintessentially Indian it’s the Hindi Filuums.
(I presusme you did that spelling on purpose??)
India is the world leader in film production; it is affectionately referred to as ‘Bollywood.’ The films are big lavish spectaculars that promise to start with an earthquake and finish with a monumental climax.They are completely O.T.T. It is claimed there are more stars in Bollywood then there are in the heavens.Times were, in the 50’s when the ‘air was clean and sex was dirty’ films were advertised ‘Colossal’. now of course it’s vice versa, and the films have become more ‘Frank.’…. I think I liked
(I'd use: "I think I prefered") ‘Colossal’
Cinema the most beautiful fraud in the world, fullfiling those technicolor dreams of an Indian audience by a strict formula that features a fixed set of ingredients;
(use a : here, not
![Wink [;)]](/emoticons/emotion-5.gif)
inadequately dressed, voluptuous big busted damsels [that have bumps in places that some girls don’t have places!], brawny heroes brandishing barking machine guns- rat-a-tat-tat, a dosh of slapstick comedy and a brimful of six well choreographed songs.
(this needs a change - we dont usually say "a brimful" - "and be brimful ... " would be better more usual, but that breaks the pattern of the rest of your list ..... which might, stylistically,be a good thing to show the end of the list?)
The cinema halls are packed to capacity, so it may well seem that
(I'd insert "of the" here to balance the comic element of the consturction you are going for)
900 million people in India that
(who is better for ppl)
go to the movies every year, all but two of them file past your seat. Every film has at least five songs,
(you just said SIX in the lines above!!)
which in itself is a major Bollywood musical extravaganza. Subsequently, the films are a minimum of three hours long. Through out the films there is great excitement and enthusiasm from the appreciate
(appreciative)
audiences. However, once the bad guy has been ‘wiped out’ it’s one big mad stampede for the exits. Sometimes the hero in the film is the guy who has to sit through it.
Conclusions: The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder, ( I prefer to watch TV
(insert comma here)
it’s so much closer to the bathroom ). Indian movies would improve greatly if they shot less film and more producers.
Hollywood is a place where a woman takes a man for better or for worse, but not for keeps !
This is fun - though I'm not sure about having two jokes at the end - could you move the one about the women higher up to where you talk about the fixed set of ingredients? And do you mean Hollywood, or Bolly? confusing to bring in Hollywood if that was your intention..
I think it would be stronger to end with the vivid image / pun about shooting producers as it really would be final!